The Reality

Eh, I was sitting around outside just thinking, and ended up writing this. Please enjoy.

        The rain fell, washing away the smell of blood that had taken over the field before. The man's eyes shot open as drops of water fell onto his face. He stared up into the sky, his mind trying to make sense of the current situation. Pain shot through his body as he tried to move. With his head pounding and his muscles aching, he decided to just lay there and try to remember what event brought him to this point. Suddenly, it all came crashing back into his mind.

 

        He was a marskman, marching with hundreds of men under a certain lord's (Whose name escaped him)  banner. The scouts had reported seeing a large force a mile away, marching in their direction. The lord, being reputable for keeping a calm demeanor in the face of danger, decided to wait on the hill they were currently on. This hill was covered with a dense forest and overlooked a grassy plain, where neither a tree nor rock were seen for miles. His plan was to wait until they entered the plain, then let the main force charge down into the fray while the archers stayed up top, raining down arrows from behind the trees. Sadly, it did not go as planned.

 

        Once the hostile forces entered the plain, hundreds of lightly-armoured and ill equipped soldiers ran down the hill, their swords raised to the skies. Following them, multiple knights went charging down the hill clumsily, their heavy plate armor and large, two-handed weapons weighing them down. As the battle raged on, things were going as planned. The man stood on the edge of the hill with the rest of his brothers and shot arrows into the ensuing chaos below.

 

        However, out of nowhere, a guttural scream pierced the usual sound of clashing steel. He turned around quickly, only to find his lord falling off of his steed, an arrowhead protruding from his chest. From the shadows of the trees emerged soldiers dressed in pitch black leather armor.

 

        The man took a few steps back, trying to keep as much distance from himself and this new threat as possible. After a few seconds of staring at each other, the blackened soldiers charged forward at the man and his fellow archers. The man only remembered running backwards and down the hill, towards the raging battle. The hell below consumed him, and after that everything went black.

 

        He shook his head, which only managed to make his pounding head hurt more, and begin the grueling process of trying to sit up. After a few minutes of grunting and grinding his teeth, he managed to get himself upright. The sight before him left him speechless and disgusted. The beautiful grassy plain that was there had been replaced by a gruesome, body-covered field of death. He could no longer see the grass. The stench of blood had been washed away, yet it lingered in the man's nostrils. That ensuing scent of blood and death would stay with him for the rest of his life, as would that haunting picture.

 

        A tear fell to the ground. His body went limp and he stared to the ground. This was it. Years of training, and obeying orders, only to be ended by one, quick battle. It was so stupid, he thought to himself. Marching to fight at the orders of one, single man. He was no more than a puppet, obeying his master's commands.

 

        He stood, taking in the final sight of the graveyard around him before starting to walk. He did not know where he would go, or what he would do. His only hope would be if someone came along searching for the two missing lords. The rain fell, hiding the tears that were let out as he walked away, leaving that god-forsaken place that had shattered his reality and left him with nothing.

Author's Note

Criticism and tough reviews are welcome.

Reviews

[Ghost]

I like that i'm not sure where this is going, because that means i'm drawn in - I'm curious. That means other readers likely will be. They'll read this and go, "Who is this man?" "What's he going to do now?" "Where does he come from?" I'm curious about him, about where this is going, about the story line - who will help him? He's injured. Will he live? - Bottom line: I have lots of questions. This is good. Giving it all away? Booor-ing.

I also like that it's vague for now, with detail - but make sure you give more later. Make sure we get a look at him - but don't be typical about it and just randomly describe him. Maybe have him look in a mirror, describe what he sees. Get creative. Don't give it all away, but give us something. If that makes sense.

I'm interested so far. ((: Feel free to RR any further chapters to this.

[Kanattas Atir Enomo]

This was a very interesting story. I feel that it really brought home the reality of what battle does and how truly awful it can be. My issue is that this piece didn't flow too well, probably due to the fact that it was written in less than half an hour. I LOVED that you had a larger-than-usual vernacular while writing this and weren't afraid to use bigger words. ^-^ Though, I saw some places where some of the words you used could have been replaced with more powerful words.
OK...Grammar Nazi time. Though you were really good; there were very few errors. >.<
Now this is just me, but I think it'd be better if you put "whose name escaped him" in parenthese as opposed to in between commas. Also in the second paragraph, you don't really need the comma after "forest."In the fourth paragraph, "pertruding" should be "protruding." Also in the fourth paragraph, you don't really need the comma in the last sentence. It's ok there, but it's unnecessary. In the sixth paragraph, "begin" should be "began" to maintain a consistant tense. Now this is just my opinion, but if you said "yet it lingered in the man's nostrils" instead of "yet it stayed in the man's nostrils" the sentence would be more effective.
so yea, very few mistakes and a very powerful piece with a clear message=good read.
-Ducky

[DeadlySoul]

This is great. I love the details. I also like how you used "big" words instead of the small simple words like many. This was interesting and not confusing at all. Great write :D