Blank mind open mind

 I'm
half drunk and crazy
thinking of love maybes
of maybe when
and maybe then
and sleeping doesnt phase me
its so totally crazy 
that Ive found this maybe
a confounding place
case in point
drunk two am maybes
never saw before
the way that world surrounds me
never saw before
the way i lived in it
those substances been following me
since age twleve
they would never save me
just like my cat, pawing at the computer screen
can never get the love she needs
never enough
no pain today
sent from a soul shocking wealth of realization
this is what is should be
and ill hold out
for what it needs to be
but now
to please the damn cat
ill go to bed
and fall asleep with wishful dreams
of what could be.