Once Upon A Dream

Once Upon A Dream

A Poem by Tannim

Softly the wind blows,

tender the breeze.

As it carries the smell

of lilacs toward me.

Hotly the sun blazes,

searing away

all thoughts of fear

and doubt.

Suddenly it seems

everything is easy,

nothing is beyond my reach.

Faintly the memory

of harder times,

adds luster to all that I do.

Triumphant the feeling

of having it all,

knowing I’ve made it at last.

Shattered the vision

of how things could be,

blasted away

by the call of my alarm.

Dimly the sense

of unfulfilled potential,

that was filled

once upon a dream.

© 2008 Tannim


Author's Note

Tannim
Please be brutally honest.

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Reviews

I like that the end gave me a smile. Thanks, and may you become all that you where created to be. someone awe inspiring that reaches to the heavens and does fly with the Angels. Thanks.

Posted 16 Years Ago


It's like you're writing about another normal day... Just check the grammar and the sentence construction...

Posted 16 Years Ago


It's nice. I enjoyed it. But the ending seems disconnected from the beginning somehow. I'm unsure exactly what you're trying to say. I liked the entire piece but I enjoyed the beginning more. The end seems a little ambiguous.

Also, "hotly, the sun blazes" I think that can be reworked. It's a bit redundant. Of course the sun blazes hotly, if it blazed cooly, that would be something to remark on.

Posted 16 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on May 30, 2008

Author

Tannim
Tannim

Carleton, MI



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