The Story of the Boy Next Door

This is an EXTREMELY high rating from me. I anticipated fully despising your work and ready to rip it to shreds. I must say that you are a good writer. You have original concepts and I was surprised. I actually enjoyed this. I enjoyed hearing about a fifteen year old girl's first kiss. Let's just say that's not exactly a concept I'm likely to get interested in. You have a dualism of themes here and I love it. While on one hand it is tremendous that the boy you love is kissing you, there is a deep sadness. It is almost like you are disappointed. I feel that you felt used in a way. That is very deep thinking in a concept which can very easily be shallow. The sadness of disappointment and the perspective of the future-tense narration leaves an ominous environment. Why is the narrator so insistent that the relationship is bad? I want to know! And by making me actually care, you have succeeded as an artist. I care about these fictional characters (whether or not they actually exist). I care why and how. You have allowed me to experience something that you have experienced and have communicated well. Very good job, and I do not say that often. For negative criticism, I would say that I wish you developed some of these themes in greater depth. Drag this out, it is so pregnant with meaning that it could very well have been longer. Work on your descriptive details, they are a bit weak in this piece. The concepts (and they are plural as this is multi-facted) are what draw me in. With more descriptive ability it would greatly enhance your work. Well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago

You have left me wondering what happened in those next 3 years. Good stuff and obviously very personal.

Posted 9 Years Ago

This is an EXTREMELY high rating from me. I anticipated fully despising your work and ready to rip it to shreds. I must say that you are a good writer. You have original concepts and I was surprised. I actually enjoyed this. I enjoyed hearing about a fifteen year old girl's first kiss. Let's just say that's not exactly a concept I'm likely to get interested in. You have a dualism of themes here and I love it. While on one hand it is tremendous that the boy you love is kissing you, there is a deep sadness. It is almost like you are disappointed. I feel that you felt used in a way. That is very deep thinking in a concept which can very easily be shallow. The sadness of disappointment and the perspective of the future-tense narration leaves an ominous environment. Why is the narrator so insistent that the relationship is bad? I want to know! And by making me actually care, you have succeeded as an artist. I care about these fictional characters (whether or not they actually exist). I care why and how. You have allowed me to experience something that you have experienced and have communicated well. Very good job, and I do not say that often. For negative criticism, I would say that I wish you developed some of these themes in greater depth. Drag this out, it is so pregnant with meaning that it could very well have been longer. Work on your descriptive details, they are a bit weak in this piece. The concepts (and they are plural as this is multi-facted) are what draw me in. With more descriptive ability it would greatly enhance your work. Well done!

Posted 9 Years Ago