My Serenity

My first Tanka poem. The beautiful photo was taken by the very talented Ken Simm -- thanks, Ken! http://www.redbubble.com/people/kenart/art/797548-1-solitude

My serenity:

twilight walk, deserted beach,

troubled thoughts adrift;

all worries are left behind

with my footprints in the sand.

 

Author's Note

This is my first Tanka poem, and from what I've read, with the Tanka form of poetry, the syllable count should be: 5/7/5/7/7 and should be about nature, the seasons, and/or strong emotion.

Reviews

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A wonderful Tanka, never tried one before but then I get stuck on the count thing.lol
A great piece Tania, the thought of leaving your troubles behind like footprints in the sand.

[Glee]

Leaving your troubles behind in the sand. Sounds like meditation. I do this, just go to some mystery place usually a beech as I leave my troubles behind. But it all happens in my mind.

Neatly captured in a few words. Usually we write a lot of babble, because we can't capture all of our thoughts so easily. But you seem to have done it pretty well. Take a look at a poem Evoking the purpose. Something similar.

[The Outlaws' Song]

Wonderful!! Congrats for the well deserved place in the top writings of the day!
:):)

[Laughing Lunatic]

Ok I have to admit I don't know what a Tanka poem is. But the thought of leaving your worries in the footprints in the sand sounds great. =)

[Artemisia]

lovely poem! reminiscent of another poem about walking in the sand with two shadows :o) very nice.

[Taja B.]

For your first Tanka, this is very good. The poem altogether flows well, the content is written pretty good, the structure is right, and just reading this makes me feel peaceful and calm.

Nice job. Thanks for sharing.

[Damian Alan Gray]

Beautiful and well written. I believe I would have finished it with
"find my footprints in the sand"
but it's just as great the way it is.

[Floating on the feather..]

I wish this could be true.................

Beautiful thought and a very concise presentation too. These lines as your footprints on the sand seem to leave an imprint on the minds of the reader as well.

Nice work.

[[untitled]]

I never read a tanka before So far as I know its wonderful. I liked it. Its a great idea leaving you r troubles behind like footprints in the sand.

[OceanTropic]

Wow. I have spent such lengths of time trying to write something that you have just written in a few short lines. Sometimes it is best to be simple. I loved it and I can relate to it so much. You don't even have to write what you feel or sense, you just write what is and in that alone we get (at least I do) the idea of exactly what you are doing. Simply beautiful. Wow.

[Barbara Walker]

A great poem! What I love about Haiku and Tanka, they are short and to the point! Expressed very well, I could feel the sand and my problems being left behind! Great job! Barbara