Good effort with the syllable count! It is not always about getting it exactly right! Lol.
This reminds me of the new cell phone commericals with the unlimited minutes. Maybe you can sell them a license for this poem for their next commercial! I think that it is Verizon! "I now have unlimited minutes! I want to tell off everybody that I know! Screw you, too!"
syllables shmyllables........creativity has no "form".....i think it's perfect just as it is....
"I'm testing the old theory that ignorance is bliss;
look carefully at me,..."----------love these lines....
"testing the old theory"---i love the way you claimed this...
"I [conveniently] lost my memory"--yes!..this is amazing..it rocks..
"and forgot all the things I'm supposed to be;
I was living in the moment for once in my life,
forgetting I'm a daughter, stepmother, and wife."------this is absolutely lovely, the freedom of this...
"I hereby resign from life's venomous fray;
I'm halfway to insanity, and here is where I think I'll stay."--------i love the way you claim your stake...that rocks..
great read, i enjoyed every line of this..[and yes, i have had a day like this]
be well.....
nice poem........ yeah its good to just yell and carry on every once in awhille.... i almost lost it the other day but i managed to only snap at a few people hahahhaha anyway nice poem!!!
ok were you spying on me Friday? lol. I actually had this day on Friday - so over all the BS - everywhere from everyone. So done playing nicey-nice because I'm supposed to. Yep - said it, meant it and am sticking by it so - get over it lol. I loved this obviously - because I plan to stay here too lol
Wow. This is a great write from beginning to end. What captured me the most, though, was:
"I conveniently lost my memory
and forgot all the things I'm supposed to be;
I was living in the moment for once in my life,
forgetting I'm a daughter, stepmother, and wife."
And the very last line:
"I've finally gone and lost my mind,
and it is not something I desire to find.
I hereby resign from life's venomous fray;
I'm halfway to insanity, and here is where I think I'll stay."
You've given up, and just let everything go. You don't want to look back down that road from which you came. You don't care anymore, and you've just lost control. Is this statement right?
I love the ryhming scheme, and it flows very well.
Just such an outstanding piece.
Thank you for posting.
WOW!
Sometimes it is nice to finally unload all of that junk we've been holding at bay, but it often leaves us feeling somewhat sorry afterwards. Sometimes, lol!
Good, entertaining writing - and the same thing happened to me just a few days ago, as a matter of fact! tee hee hee it was fun, wasn't it at least a bit?? KUDOS!
4/7/08
When my "Phobia" contest is completed April 18th, and winners have been chosen and notified, I'll be leaving the cafe indefinitely to focus on my family, as well as my first book and website. .. more..