Going Crazy

I wrote this cheery little ditty last fall but never posted it

They sedate me,

then berate me;

you can’t convince me

they don’t hate me.

 

You don’t trust me,

you disgust me;

you don’t love me,

only lust me.

 

They lie to me,

you cry to me

and say that you

would die for me.

 

Well here’s your chance

to give me

the one thing that would

impress me,

 

because I don’t want

to be me,

and I want to take you

with me.

 

They say that I am

going crazy --

feel like going

for a ride?

 

Author's Note

This falls under the category of "I have no clue what my muse was" :-)
I think I wrote it before the "Asylum" poems, so it may have been the muse for those...

The changes in tempo were intentional.

Reviews

[BelieveInCelia]

This shouts uncontrollable helplessness at the hands of 'others'...
I have not read your other poems, however, this makes me reflect on many other ways people feel the same sense of helplessness..without escape....
Old Age...the elderly...being trapped in a body so very old and incapable of doing what his 'mind', so vital and youthful still, is screaming for it to do; yet the reality of being held captive in the shell he now occupies is a journey to insanity in one way...there is not escape...until death...
or
diseases that take the mind, like Alzheimer's...
I am sorry...I am too sad to continue this discussion....
Your writing has gripped my heart ever so deeply...I am being crushed as I write this...that is what poetry is supposed to do...reach and connect to the reader....
Well, you certainly have....
I pray your future writing reveals a hint that you have found or glimpsed into the sunlight again and have touched beauty in all its innocence, and it has in return embraced you in its arms.
Celia

[Damian Alan Gray]

I agree with Nuala in that it reads like a song by Eminem. I hope you don't take that as an insult. I generally can't stand rap music because it leans heavily toward the subjugation of women, but because his is more geared toward political and social poignancy, I sort of dig Eminem's lyrics.

Overall, it's a good poem. My only real complaint is the break in the flow in the final three stanzas. If you read it aloud, snap your fingers to the rhythm and I think you'll find that it skips the beat. Otherwise, it's nicely written and gives a couple of creepy chills.

[None]

This chants like a high class rap song! I find myself going over it with "Eminem's'" voice--well forget the high class part I guess then. LOL. Honestly, the rhythm in this is powerful and strong as well as the words.
Your words...
"because I don't want
to be me,
and I want to take you
with me."
...are deviously displayed and connected to the following...."feel like going for a ride?" It sounds like real trouble!! Your poems can describe a whole story in just a short time. This one is no exception. I guess the person you wrote of made the first mistake with this...."and say that you would die for me." Not a good thing to say!! An appealing and luring poem!

[Phil Sanders]

Smiling ... amusing .....

[Wolfwind Words]

This was a thinker. I liked the form and the flow.. I got the image of a young couple that the female, had been diagnosed with some sort of mental illness, and her future was questionable. The male seemed say that he would be there. but all the female wanted was sex.
Thats just what i got from it! :)
Great write! I like works that make me think.

[BlakeL79]

I like this, I really enjoy the pace. Here is may favorite part -
"You don't trust me,
you disgust me;
you don't love me,
only lust me."

Very song like, an excllent read. If I were not in my office, I think this would be one of the few poems I would read out loud - something I do not do often. It's interesting how the lack of rhyme at the end soothes the poem even when it's just beginning - excellent contrast.

[ELii]

I think best work comes out in bouts of insanity. good write!

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

Our muses tend to make us write whatever comes to their mind instead of our own... if that even makes sense - i blame my muse.


I enjoyed this though!
Great Write
Rayne

[Rodwonder]

Ah... We all need to go that ride into insanity once in awhile... Good rythm, great pace... "They lie to me, you cry to me... and say that, you would die for me" Says alot...