These Tears

My first Senryu for a contest....

 

These tears in my eyes

are all for you, my sweet love.

Take them and be gone.

Reviews

[The Viking]

Beautiful. Your writing reminds me of water for some reason, I don't know if it's the font you use, the words, style, probably a combination of them all, but in a way it reminds me of sparkling streams of water. A very powerful image. This is pretty, I look forward to writing more.

[Papillion]

A wonderful piece. I don't know if the contests been and gone but good luck!

[Chiquita]

Very short and to the point.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could rid ourselves of our tears so easily. Ascribe them to the one who caused them and then be done with both at the same time. :)

[desertraven]

I love it!
Sandra

[Damian Alan Gray]

Congratulations on placing in the Senryu contest! Vicious poetry, this. Sorry, I can't add criticism. It's perfect.

[Lea Jane]

Short, sweet, and beautiful. I love it! Great job. :]

[Rhiannon Dragonraine]

Very short but poignant. Sometimes a simple statement is all you really need to convey much emotion and you have done so here beautifully.

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

sweet simple and to the point.... but not really sweet lol.... I love this piece it's very powerful! Great job!

[Dani California]

You've managed to capture and express a lot of different emotions here -- in a few short sentences. Wow. Beautiful.

It has me a bit captivated I might add - perhaps still trapped in my own rendition.

Awesome write. :)

[Joseph - Michael]

I don't know what to say about it. My mind kept wandering around as I'm reading it, I mean, I've read it five times already and it kept reminding me of someone else...

Anyway, it's all good here...

[Gary H]

Much kudos to you. I'm rubbish at writing senryus. Yours has captured a point well and, in my opinion, is what a short piece should be like - one that keeps you reading again and again to make sure you have picked up the essence of what is in the writers mind. Hope this does well in the contest.