These Tears

My first Senryu for a contest....

 

These tears in my eyes

are all for you, my sweet love.

Take them and be gone.

Reviews

[The Viking]

Beautiful. Your writing reminds me of water for some reason, I don't know if it's the font you use, the words, style, probably a combination of them all, but in a way it reminds me of sparkling streams of water. A very powerful image. This is pretty, I look forward to writing more.

[Alex Walters]

Just in these 3 lines I get a sense of a long string of emotions. Anger at one for hurting you because you love them?

Very Good job. :]

[pal]

my god..
tears all for u.. take and go away??

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Beautiful, short and sweet, Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Sparrow]

This is a beautiful, touching piece and then adding the fact that it's haiku format just makes it splendid for me, personally. It's such a hard thing to get across everything you want to say in such short verse. Great great job and thank you for submitting to the True Talent contest.

-Sparrow

[ah]

this is really really great, you were able to write a flawless writing here

[Brette Medb]

So short yet so beautiful. It always amazes me at how so few words can portray so many thoughts and emotions. As always wonderful write.


Brette

[Lexy Harper]

My dear friend, you educate me in some many ways - if it hadn't been for you I wouldn't know what's a Senryu. In my humble opinion this poem is perfection. You portray a world of meaning in just three short lines. Amazing!

[SM Davis]

YES!!!!!!!! Send that a*****e on his way and cry not another tear...... he's not worth it. BOOOOOYA!

[jen -- JG]

Damn it girl you can write - but we already knew that. For a first Senryu it is perfect -- for any Senryu it is perfect. For a small poem that tells a complete story it is perfect.

Congratulations Tania this is perfect

Well done!!!!

jen-JG

[Tamme]

I like it. Brushing him away as you brush away your tears. It's short but has strength in it.