Abandon

 

Luminous light adorns the horizon as Dawn  

lends her warmth to the storm-ravaged sea.

 

Tempestuous waves of the fore-night, now tame,

roll their way to the shore, then in silence recede.

 

I stand alone with bare feet in the sand and seek

comfort from the cold ocean water’s caress.

 

By turns, my troubles I cast to the surf and then

pray that this time they, too, will regress.

 

The salt of my skin meets the cool ocean spray;

they unite as warm tears stream down my face.

 

I walk away quickly, leaving behind sorrow and

my memories for the sea to erase.

Reviews

[Captain Blackheart (The..]

A wonderful image you paint, my fav lines are -

I stand alone with bare feet in the sand and seek
comfort from the cold ocean water's careses

Wonderful!!!

[Gary H]

There are some wonderful lines in this but I got stuck on the opening two. Firstly I foolishly thought Dawn was a person and the opening of the poem doesn't capture the same flow as the lines from the third one down. I'm not too sure what a fore-night is either. Seeing that no-one else has had problems with interpretation I think this must just be my misunderstanding. From that point on I loved the feel of the sea.
I also like the way you have written this avoiding repetition in the words. I enjoy poetry like this and appreciate this style is much harder to write so I think you have done a really good piece of work here.

[E. M. Murren]

This is a deeply emotional work. The water of the sea... the tears... a powerful understanding. Well done.

[Laughing Lunatic]

This is so beautiful your words are like a painting come to life! =) I love it!!

[Nicholas Hallows]

You paint this picture beautifully. NH

[Carole]

What a wonderful way to leave our cares behind...

By turns, my troubles I cast to the surf and then

pray that this time they, too, will regress.


The salt of my skin meets the cool ocean spray;

they unite as warm tears stream down my face.


I walk away quickly, leaving behind sorrow and

my memories for the sea to erase.

Letting them roll on out to the sea with the receding tide. I love the ocean. Always have. Too far inland to have it. I long for our trips to San Diego. Great job....beautiful flow---awesome imagery!

[MARK my words]

Impeccable imagery here! Good work! MArk

[SM Davis]

This is beautiful and sad Tania!!! I loved it!

[TheodoreBlack]

Gentle write this. You capture a moment in time very well. The pacing of the write is very enjoyable to read. I really like the opening line, 'Luminous light adorns the horizon as dawn lends her warmth to the storm-ravaged sea'. There's a beautiful lingustic balance to it.

Quality write! :)

[Papillion]

Such a beautiful poem.Your lines are perfect

[Angel Bird]

This is beautiful poesy, with a somewhat happy ending, fortunately.
It's an easy read, provokes emotions and pictures even to the extend to practically hear and scent the breeze and waves, as also the salty air.
Very well done!