The Deal

You inadvertently sold me your soul,

and a deal is a deal, so here is your gold.

Go see to your family then return to me,

for I am your master, you're no longer free.

 

Sweet, foolish child, with so much to learn;

your family is safe, but you may well burn

Are they worth it to you? Your certain demise

is frightening you now, I can tell by your eyes.

 

Your sweet innocence is intriguing to me

and I find your resolve amusing, you see.

Play your cards right and I may keep you here

to learn, by my side, all I hold dear.

 

You must know this now: tears have no effect

on a being like me, as I don't feel regret,

and I don't feel remorse or doubt or pain

and I can see through any emotions you feign.

 

Be a good student, and I'll teach you well

this dreaded abyss, what you know of as Hell.

You'll learn to rule fire and change your look;

the things that you know of only from books.

 

You'll then recruit new souls, people like you.

Frantic for something, what it takes they will do.

Whether driven by hunger or pain or pure greed,

they're convinced that you have just what they need.

 

You will witness how quickly our numbers increase,

because many are willing to sell out to the beast.

Humans are weakening as the pace becomes faster

and they buy one-way tickets to impending disaster.

 

Big houses, big cars, living large has a price.

Need something done? They'll invent a device.

They work all their lives away just to obtain

things that, in the end, cause them the most pain.

 

It's not in their nature to go in reverse;

the need for perfection is their greatest curse.

To fail or seem weak is their ultimate fear,

and those very things are what brings them here. 

 

There now, my child, go do what you need to

There's plenty of time for me to teach you.

Eternity, I believe, if I may be so precise;

I'll see you quite soon, to begin your new life.

 

Before you go, Sweet, let me ask you one thing,

and ponder it well when its gifts that you bring

to your family, to save them and where they dwell

were their luxuries really worth you living in hell?

Reviews

[Sir Jake]

Hmmm, I really enjoyed the bittersweetness of this piece. I like the idea of a deal with the devil, but this is so much more, and sometimes, sacrificing for those we love is worth it, but then, sometimes we have to step back and realize that material wealth isn't always the most important. Great job on this.

*Jake*

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Nicely done with a good message. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Captain Goldpants]

The fact that this has more verses than many poems I have read here recently, caught me off guard in terms of feeling the arc of it - not in a bad way at all, however. I just thought it was going to end soon, when the knife twists with the big houses, big cars [...] verse. I fence (sword fighting, sort of) a sport that requires great cunning, and that is a skillful maneouvre you pull at that point of the poem, much like a winning flick of a fencer's foil. The bluesy feel in the build up with the 'sold soul to devil' concept from Southern Blues (made famous by Robert Johnson, but which in turn can be traced back to much more ancient roots in African religions), and met with the hard shiny feel of 'material wealth'.especially as we are generally aware that the planet cannot sustain our lifestyles for very much longer.

This one really works. Such a sad topic though, isn't it? Because of that, my only other comment would be where you use 'their', as in, 'us' and 'them'. However, this is 'our' planet (if we feel we most own it) to share with one another and everything else (that we haven't made extinct yet!), so really, there is only 'us', and no 'them'. We are all conscious, aware, and responsible.

[Robert Luna]

I must say looking over some of the reviews I am not that i got it. I read this and the only thing that kept coming into my head was a horrible marriage. The gold being the ring and the spouse being abusive and make your life a living hell but providing all the things that you thought you wanted but the whole time their was something missing a piece of your soul and the happiness you really longed for in the beginning. But I guess that was just me. But it is what i felt from this great piece of work.

[Kim Kruger]

This is an excellent write on the pitfalls and consequences of selling one's soul for riches and fame, but here I also get the sense that the deal with the devil was a sacrifice not out of personal greed but for family; to end suffering.

[Beautifully Tragic xPoe..]

A perfect masterpeice to me. Thanks to Nuala for sending this my way. Loved this. Definetly favoriting this one.


Great Write

[Tamme]

The message is obvious and so well conveyed. This is so very well written... It's going in my favorite :)

[pal]

"You will witness how quickly our numbers increase,
because many are willing to sell out to the beast.
Humans are weakening as the pace becomes faster
and they buy one-way tickets to impending disaster"

Pace kills. and people unwilling to use the minds..bring more suffering..
so true
pal

[Helen Woodward]

This is a masterpiece!!!!! Brilliant and should be in every school room. No offense taken here, you did something beautiful for God Tania...that is all that needs to be said.
Helen :-)

[fireblossom]

This is a wonderful poem. Using the age old 'Satan and the abyss' device you capture the sell-out of men and women, especially in Western Culture. More, higher, faster, bigger...the race to win and prove ones self by accumulating stuff and money continues. You really captured the farce in the poem.

Really great writing.

[Papillion]

A great write, well done on good imagery