The Deal

You inadvertently sold me your soul,

and a deal is a deal, so here is your gold.

Go see to your family then return to me,

for I am your master, you're no longer free.

 

Sweet, foolish child, with so much to learn;

your family is safe, but you may well burn

Are they worth it to you? Your certain demise

is frightening you now, I can tell by your eyes.

 

Your sweet innocence is intriguing to me

and I find your resolve amusing, you see.

Play your cards right and I may keep you here

to learn, by my side, all I hold dear.

 

You must know this now: tears have no effect

on a being like me, as I don't feel regret,

and I don't feel remorse or doubt or pain

and I can see through any emotions you feign.

 

Be a good student, and I'll teach you well

this dreaded abyss, what you know of as Hell.

You'll learn to rule fire and change your look;

the things that you know of only from books.

 

You'll then recruit new souls, people like you.

Frantic for something, what it takes they will do.

Whether driven by hunger or pain or pure greed,

they're convinced that you have just what they need.

 

You will witness how quickly our numbers increase,

because many are willing to sell out to the beast.

Humans are weakening as the pace becomes faster

and they buy one-way tickets to impending disaster.

 

Big houses, big cars, living large has a price.

Need something done? They'll invent a device.

They work all their lives away just to obtain

things that, in the end, cause them the most pain.

 

It's not in their nature to go in reverse;

the need for perfection is their greatest curse.

To fail or seem weak is their ultimate fear,

and those very things are what brings them here. 

 

There now, my child, go do what you need to

There's plenty of time for me to teach you.

Eternity, I believe, if I may be so precise;

I'll see you quite soon, to begin your new life.

 

Before you go, Sweet, let me ask you one thing,

and ponder it well when its gifts that you bring

to your family, to save them and where they dwell

were their luxuries really worth you living in hell?

Reviews

[Sir Jake]

Hmmm, I really enjoyed the bittersweetness of this piece. I like the idea of a deal with the devil, but this is so much more, and sometimes, sacrificing for those we love is worth it, but then, sometimes we have to step back and realize that material wealth isn't always the most important. Great job on this.

*Jake*

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Tania-

That's awesome, sweetie! What a great summary of selling out to the Beast!

"Before you go, Sweet, let me ask you one thing,
and ponder it well when its gifts that you bring
to your family, to save them and where they dwell
were their luxuries really worth you living in hell?"

More Hell than this? Is there more Hell? :)

-Gabe

[Prince of Poetry]

This is amazing...I think there is a clear message in this piece and if you get offended then good...I think its good to see the world through other peoples eyes every now and then

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

All I can say is WOW!!! This is an amazing piece and you did a fabulous job writing it. Great work!!!

Heather

[James Watts]

Very nice work. Been awhile since I have had a chance to read and review and with this piece I was not disappointed.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

A very intense poem with great flow and excellent message... ,money and fame have the power to corrupt even the most innocent soul and make them ruthless... going in my favs!!

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

I like it... it's creepily good lol... It was so easy to read... has a great flow.... Absolutly amazing!

[Lex]

Wow. Strong writing there. Good piece.

[Steven Williams]

No offense taken, but powerful and well-written. I may have interpreted the message a little different than what may have been intended, but it struck me and I enjoyed your work. - Stephen

[M I N D Y]

very strong message... and there seems to be a few different layers here to this poem. i love that. your message is beautifully written, nice meter, rhyme, flow, imagery, message.... a really nice write. i enjoyed this and certainly accepted the message there with strong agreement.

[Yvonne Heidt]

Wow. I always have an open mind...

I love the flow and meter of this piece. It reads really well. Your creativity shines here and your imagination is very productive.

All in all - I loved this. Great job.