Stilettos

Bitterly cold November wind blows,

suppressing the sound of red stilettos

tapping a furious rhythm down a dark

barren street, defying potential danger

from black pavement slick with sleet.

 

A glint of steel appears in the streetlight,

only for an instant, then is cast into the night,

barrel forced open as it lands with a clang,

resounding down into a gutter, disappearing

out of sight.

 

On the other side of town, someone arrives

at their home to the smell of sex and

gunpowder drifting from their bedroom.

Grey smoke lingers heavily, swirling,

still in the air and tiny crimson droplets

cling randomly to walls and hair,

reflecting abandoned candlelight

on new death in the dark of night.

 

Anguished screams pierce the night

and one by one apartments light

as sleepy neighbors raise windows,

shivering as the cold wind blows.

Curious faces along the row whisper

and wonder if it’s someone they know.

 

Passion crime committed on a bitterly cold

November night. Sexy killer vanishes quickly

out of sight as the burgeoning sounds of chaos

effectively conceal the telltale hurried tapping

sound of guilt wearing stiletto heels.

Reviews

[Angelheaded Hipster]

Very cool! Hell hath no fury like a woman in stilettos! Though how shed run off in those killer shoes is beyond me....

I think it would work better in short story form, flesh out the people in the bedroom....give the stiletto woman a little bit more mystery....

but this works rather well too!

[Casablanca]

I guess this story is old by the reviews being that way. I like the shoes and the mysterious woman. Do you think she has enough personality though?

I also liked the smoke-filled room. I have that in my crime story, too.

Would you read mine when I put it out? I'll let you know when I get it loaded on.

Have a good night. And I hope you're feeling fine.

[A.J. Smith]

Wow! This definitely grabs you and pulls you in, but it's a cliff hanger for sure. I agree with Angelheaded Hipster, this is begging to be told in short story form (not to detract from the quality of your poem, but it would be cruel to leave us hanging). I see you are doing that, so I think I will page up.

[I Am THE LADY POET]

This is really nice. It sounds like something out of a really hot steamy book. Really nice

[pal]

nice.. all that i say
pal

[Captain Goldpants]

This is gorgeous, intimate and involving. I feel like I am standing right into that street taking in the scene. I'm going to send you a message, hang on�

[Dorothy]

I love it! I could see you turning this into a story with a little more attention to detail and description. Although I think this works just as well. I love that the woman is the killer, unusual and sexy! Great write!

[Grendyl Bayn]

I like it. I can tell it's in the early stages, no offense by that, some of the structure seems a bit shaky but it's still awesome nonetheless. Cheers

[TAYLOR]

a female jack the ripper...a very erotic tale...looking for the paperback version

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

Ooo... I like it... It has amazing imagery... I felt as if i were there... This is a great piece... Great job!

[Mystic Dreams]

I like it - it flows nicely, hardly seems like a first draft. Each stanza captures a specific point in the tale and I can't help but think that Dick Tracey (or a similarly trenchcoat-clad PI) will step out of the shadows to solve the crime
It started out with rhyming lines but I think the flow is stronger when the rhyme stops.

Great write

Mystic