Very Often, Unwillingly

i am about to die,
and death never looked
so good.

the complexity of
life, has confused
many of us, and those
closest to me,
gave me things
i didn't want,

solitude and
indifference
their favorite gifts,

but there is only
so much of your
time
that you can share,

i now realize
that i relied too much
on them,
not enough on myself,

i had all the company
i needed,

my mind was full
of fire,
my heart was filled
with whispers.