Broken heart doesnt make a sound

love

Darling dear didnt i tell you that the world is round?
Everything you throw at others comes back to you,
like a broken heart that breaks but it doesnt make a sound,
when those winds of autumn blew,
my heart shattered but it didnt make a sound,
for what you throw at others comes around

Reviews

[Bear]

First, I would like to offer you a link to the best writing tool I have ever come across, it will help with spelling, punctuation, and grammar I hope you find it as useful as I have https://app.grammarly.com
Seeing you came from Bhutan I take it English is not your native language so I want to applaud your proficiency in writing in English. Your understanding and word usage show you have a good mastery of the language as well as it shows your intelligence. About your poem, I couldn't help but smile at the first two lines :~) What a great way of pointing out the power of karma, you throw something at others and it could go around the world and end up hitting you yourself instead.
Not sure about the third line, by saying "like" you are making a comparison but haven't clearly defined what that comparison is. I love the idea that when a heart is broken it makes no sound, but where you say "a broken heart that breaks" that is redundant. It is like telling people that a broken window is broken when they can see that for themselves. Assuming that you are comparing the sound of the autumn winds with the breaking of a heart, you need to highlight that better. It is a great idea that deserves clarity, heck it is a powerful enough statement you could make a good poem from it alone. You could easily expand on your original idea to add better vision to the comparison if you couldn't find a way to do it with the two lines you have now. Sorry didn't mean to start lecturing at you, I really like the concept it shows great creativity and imagination. Feel free to write me if you have any questions about my comments or thoughts Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Tandin]

Thank you for the review..I have always wanted someone to review my writing so that I could find out my weakness that I couldn't see in myself...I am very pleased and grateful for your awesome words...and I would do my best to my shortcomings and I thank you once again for the wonderful review.. Thank you so much .....

[Bear]

Be sure you check out the link https://app.grammarly.com

[Tandin]

Thank you I would gladly do that..thank you again

[Tandin]

thank you aloot hehehe like always m trying ....

[Destiny Dreamer]

WOW! I loved loved loved Your Poem. So meaningful! Full of TRUTHS! Really, everything U throw at others comes back to U. And Broken heart doesn't make a sound! Fabulous work. If U say You are not a good writer. I would never AGREE! You are a GREAT writer!

[Tandin]

Thank you alooot.....