I love this poem. Even though this poem brought back memories, they're bad memories but I still like remembering them. You're a good writer if you made me remember my past. I'll read more of your writing, because you're great.
This wasn't exactly depressing, but it was very raw. I love that you chose the short sentences we think to ourselves when things are like this.
One note: in the top description quote, I would put a trigger warning. Even though it's not nearly as raw as some pieces on this topic, it will help people avoiding poems about cutting.
Other than that (which had nothing to do with the actual poem) this was an amazing work. Thank you for sharing.
The vision that comes to mind is a running woman, wanting to scream, wanting to cry, nothing is coming out. The thoughts stretch across the mind and the reader sits on the edge of their chair waiting to know what can happen.
You should buy a punch bag and beat up on it instead of yourself because after the effort of taking out your day on it's skin you will be too worn out to take it out on yours. Sometimes exercise can give the high we seek when we are low. Slit your metaphoric wrists and bleed ink my friend because in getting the words out of your head helps seal them away upon the page. Keep em' coming
I think I'm gonna stalk all your works. Excellent, dark and painful. I feel like you have entered my head, dragged out all my thoughts and put them here. I love it.
"Temptation
Urges
Needy"
We can't control our desire. Can twist us up many times in a life. I like the way the poem flowed. A good ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote
While your feeling are doubtless deep and sincere, there is no actual craft in their recitation. I feel that you have strong potential, but there is much more to "poetry", as an artform, than merely chronicling your feelings. Might I suggest that you try to give less heed to your feelings, in their pure, unrefined state, and more heed to your words? Try for some pattern, some sort of repetition, that converts the raw pain into something another person can be made to feel better by reading, rather than worse. And most of all, keep trying! Never throw anything away, and never abandon this aspiration. It can be both very rewarding, and very therapeutic.
Hi! My name is Tanaya Smith :) Pleased to meet your acquaintance :)
I am 16 in year 11.
I live in Australia.
My natural hair colour is blonde but there were to many sterotypes along .. more..