Shadows of the Light Rewrite

He looks at her with such intensity

This girl that he once loved

All she sees is a boy

the shadow of the man he used to be

Something changed and he doesnt know what

But he can no longer stand her

Shadows play tricks on his vision

Its all a trick of the light

These things he feels cannot be right

He yearns for her sweet embrace

But cant bring himself to hug her back

Shes given him everything

But in the end it is never enough

And he turns and walks away from her

from them

and with him he takes something

Now shes stands there all alone

Her heart forever gone, forever taken

And her faith now broken, forever shaken

Reviews

[RedInk524]

I already reviewed this, but will do so again because i like it that much.
Lol, why do your love poems remind me of personal stuff that happened to me? Its kinda creepy. That being said, i dont have to talk about how this related to me.
True love is a dying rose, growing increasingly rare in this world. So many people meet some seemingly wonderful girl or guy and think that they are the one but then reality jumps in and bitchslaps them out of nowhere. And sometimes it happens slowly, so that you can see it coming but you dont want to believe it till it actually does happen. No matter how well you know someone, you can't ignore the possibility of them pulling something out that you have never seen. Nobody can be known 100%. If you think you have found love, chances are you really havent. Someway or another, reality will turn and bite you in the a*s.

[RedInk524]

Sounds like an everyday disappointment with people. Relationships that actually workout past the hype stage is a rarity. You can pour your heart out to someone, but you never know when they will take it all and throw it back in your face.

[Felecia]

This is a really good poem. I like it very much. Well done Serenity

[Stella]

I really liked this poem because I can relate to it so well because I'm feeling a little heartbroken over a somewhat similar situation. Thanks for sharing!

[Arietta]

woah, every single time: goosebumps. that's amazing

[_]

oh! that sounds painful. :( i like it though because it shows the intensity of one feels for the other and how it's their mind telling them it's the character they dislike instead of falling for the looks and how they can't be together.
:(
heartbraking but still beautiful.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Very intense and gripping poem....love it!!

[xXxCynicalWarsxXx]

I haved this before, only I was the boy, and he was the girl. This a great melancholic piece, and I'm not too sure where all this falls into play, but I think, we've been here before and we've wanted to forget the tears and pain, but life carries on, right? This was great, and it's forever a keeper. Thank you for your post.

[ShappireRose]

Why you do this sis i want to forget not remeber..the pain they caused me so long ago..i no longer want this burning tears...