Shadows of the Light

In the dark of the night

The shadows will seek the light

Cringing in fear but longing for its warm embrace

Disappearing without a single trace

Tears roll down from her eyes

As she notices all of your little lies

You reach into her sunken chest

And rip out the heart that you do detest

Her tears won’t be able to hide the scars

But they will ease the pain that it mars

If you opened up her chest you would see

No heart, nothing but an empty cavity

Her heart forever gone, forever taken

And her faith now broken, forever shaken

Reviews

[Daniel88Batson]

It's good. But I feel that you've tried to hard to make it rhyme. Poetry isn't about rhyme, it's about rhythm. I'd love to read a new draft which doesn't rhyme. I feel the rhyme looses the meaning of the piece.

[RedInk524]

This seems to be two poems in one, the first four lines being one of its own. And i see no relevance between the two. Other than that, both are good. Each having its own meaning.

[_]

at first i was scared to read cause of the first line, i'm terrified of the dark but i kept going and it turned out to be a very good poem loooooove it! :D

[xXxCynicalWarsxXx]

As always, Your writings speak and swell with emotions! I loved it, in all honesty, I loved it! The chilling goosebumps that crawled through me, the emotion that I could relate to, it all is well written.

[Felecia]

That was beautifly wonderful Serenity! I loved how you made it rhyme! It seen chills threw me and made me sad. It was wonderful

[Arietta]

wooooahhhhhh, goosebumps......EVERY POEM U WRITE GIVES ME GOOSEBUMPS