Prologue

 

            The beach was dark, but he could make out her form, wrapped in a blanket, sitting alone in the sand.  He knew he should go inside, leave her be, yet he hesitated.  He tried to tell himself that it was concern for her well-being that kept him from entering his house and abandoning her to her solitude, but another opportunity was presenting itself, one that benefitted him, and he continued on down the beach toward the water, toward where she sat alone, painted silver in a sliver of moonlight.

            She didn’t acknowledge him when he stopped beside her, so he plopped down next to her, silent, close enough for their knees to be touching.  He noticed beads of water on her face, which he at first thought to be ocean spray before recognizing them as tears.  He was about to pull her hair back, out of her face to get a better look, maybe offer some opening words of comfort when she spoke first.

            “I’m going to miss you guys so much.”

            Part of it was muffled by the wind, the pounding surf, but he heard her.  He wiped her eyes with gentle fingers and she nodded her thanks.

            “We’ll miss you, too,” he said.  He took a deep breath.  “Well, I guess I can’t speak for him.  But I will, you know, miss you.”

            She suddenly collapsed into him�"a moment he was waiting for and yet unexpected�"and it was with awkward arms that he drew her in closer.  He rocked her gently while she cried, something he’d done to so many other crying girls so many times before this one, and when he bent to kiss her forehead, she lifted her face and kissed his mouth.  He tasted her tears.

            “You’re very sweet,” she told him. 

            He didn’t answer, and she lifted her face close to his once again.  He didn’t lower to meet her.  Although he’d pursued it, somewhere he didn’t think this was something they should be doing.  He could tell she was just as unsure; she backed up, studied his face, then moved toward his lips once again.  She hesitated only a second before kissing him.

            He hadn’t planned on going much further than sharing a few kisses, putting their mouths in places that would offer all the pleasure of a full-on coupling without the threat of lifelong consequence.  But the way she reached for him, the parts of her that she aligned with parts of him told she was looking for a connection born of deepest intimacy.  Her touches and the intent he read behind them brought him to quick arousal.  She felt it and though at first jerked her body away, she reconsidered, rubbing her pelvis against him.

            “Are you sure?”

            “Yes,” she said, and he could detect no further hesitation. 

            She was wearing a light cotton pajama shorts set and after he stripped her of her bottoms and underwear, he undid his pants and rolled on top of her.

            “Ouch,” she said when he tried to insert himself.

            “Sorry, sorry,” he said.  “It’s going to be a little uncomfortable.  I’ll do my best not to hurt you.”

            “Hurt me?  What?”  She sounded panicked.  He tried again.  Her entire body tensed.

            “Ow.  Okay, maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

            “No, no, it’s all right,” he said.  He knew she’d never done this before.  Sex for the first time for girls wasn’t the same as for boys.  She just needed a little coaching.  “Just breathe.”

            “Okay.  No, wait�"-”

            He was becoming frustrated.  “Just relax.  You’re tightening up.”

            “Maybe we should just stop�"”

            He pushed himself inside and she let out a yelp of pain.  “Oh, God!”

            “It’s okay,” he said, but when he moved, she squeezed his arms with more intensity than a blood pressure band.

            “No, no,” she said.  “No.  I don’t like it.”

            “Just . . . Come on.”

            “Ow!”  She was crying again.  “No, please.  Stop.”

            “I can’t just stop,” he said, getting angry.  “You can’t do this; it’s not fair.”

            “Please!” she said, slapping him.  “Please, get off me.”

            But he didn’t.  He pressed himself onto her harder, pinning her down with his rocking hips.  He’d be done soon, if she could just wait until he finished. 

            “Ow!  Oh, God, it hurts�"”

            “It does not,” he said.  “Stop being such a baby.”

            “No, oh s**t, please�"”  She was gasping for air.  “I can’t breathe.  I can’t breathe, please.”

            The moment he pulled out she was shoving him away and as he rolled over, she quickly scrambled to her feet.  She didn’t say a word to him as she snatched her clothes up off the sand.  She grabbed the blanket, wrapped it around her waist. 

She didn’t look back as she ran up the beach toward her house.