Losing Heaven

What will happen if you lose the dearest to your heart?

 

Losing Heaven

 

<Soft Start>

A story never told

About a day the sky rained blood

About two hearts that should had lived but they died…

<Music Speeds up>

 

First it was one bullet

Then a storm of many came

As he kissed the one he loved

Love turned into one big flame

A fire that consumed them dead!

…

His eyes never shined again

His heart filled with anger and pain

A promise that her death won't go in vain

 

Once an angel now a devil

Knowing things won't ever be well

They took his heaven so he gave them hell!

They took his heaven so he gave them hell!

 

One last heavenly kiss

Then the devil became his whisper

As the voices within grew like twisters

Mercy died neither hesitations nor fear

For his vengeance red stained the fields

…

Every morning on the ground

Twenty one bodies they found

A number they couldn’t understand

 

Once an angel now a devil

Knowing things won't ever be well

They took his heaven so he gave them hell!

 

<Solo>

 

Once an angel now a devil

Knowing things won't ever be well

They took his heaven so he gave them hell!

…

He gave them hell!

Oh yeah! He gave them hell!

<Hard Stop>

Author's Note

This is my latest! 27-feb-2008
Simply a warning knowing trouble is coming to knock the doors, I had no choice but to write my biggest fears in words, I got used too much of this way of feeling that I couldn't even avoid writing about the bitter end! I still curse my self for writing this one, none the less... I wrote it in a past tense so it wont come down to it...

Reviews

[Alma]

the title of this poem is like speaking my thoughts, I am losing heaven or I have already lost it, better... spiritual struggle that I never wanted to fight and I have to lose- the punishment for being unable to live but never been asked to be born.

the metaphors play with my head, the flow of the poem and the sudden, rythmic change gives it a unique style and makes me ponder over every line.

Great, great piece.
thx a lot for sharing!

[dennis king - peace poe..]

this was fantastic. i especially enjoyed the line: "they took his heaven so he gave them hell."

very interesting concept. losing a loved one can be a terribly difficult thing to get over, especially if it happens at the hands of someone else...

[Bubo]

Sometimes writing acts as a channel, so we release those fears, bring them out and confront them,
it is a very powerful emotional read.

[ShadowDance]

I told you NOT to write this one! But ypou wrote it none the less in a past form so it wont happen, and I hope it doesnt, if it does I know one thing... Alot of bad would happen later!
I wont say much, but this is one of your best as with you putting fear, love and anger in one and turning it into a story to be told, you amaze me man

[Petey]

This is the point of writing to express yourself in the simplest of forms and being able to break yourself and thoughts down well enough for another t read and feel.

[jenny]

i really like this one, it gets to me deep. good job;)

[Jeannine Saadeh]

bro, why do u regret writing this??? its really really good and im glad to know its ur latest cuz its awesome!it reminds me of romeo and juliet..but listen, ur not going to have a bitter end and im prayin that u dont, cuz u deserve a WHOLE LOT more than what ur sayin in this poem..and i hope tht ur true love wont be as devastating as this one...good job!!

[JC Fox]

Why curse yourself? I enjoyed the piece a lot and writing is about those darkest corners of your minds, your fears, loves, and whatever else. It is how you express those feelings that make the difference in a piece ^_^

[the reader of sorrow]

Once again, you have become such a greta writer bro,
You need to teach me a few of your tricks,
Anyway I loved this one, great job bro,

Your little brother :)

[JC Fox]

This is a great piece and it kind of reminds me of an anime introduction song ^_^ (yes I spend waaay too much time watching cartoons). I love the visuals and the serenity the piece bestows on the reader.