Well this is my first writing..this article is based on the reality of life.after seeing the youth being mislead i thought it was important to refresh their soul and guide them towards a content life
The Reality of Life
As a child is born he is innocent and angelic. He repeats
what you say and follows what you do. His sweet little acts are a source of joy
for the whole family. This is undoubtedly the most cheerful stage of life. As
he grows up he learns a lot of things, while most of them are productive others
aren’t. He is shown a lot of paths in front of him and has to decide which one
to follow. He follows one, then another and quickly realizes that his life is
not going in the right direction. This is not what he always wanted to do. He
gets depressed and hopeless. He spends most of his life in this misery. Things
get very tough for him. He doesn’t know where to go, who to look up to. It is
only when he gets old that he realizes the true meaning of life. Perhaps it was
the innocence, the purity that was missing throughout his adulthood. He indulged
into things which were materialistic, virtual and unrighteous. This is the
reason why one goes back into his childhood as he gets old. But by that time it
is too late. If only he could go back in time and undo his wrong deeds. Thus it is
necessary that we start giving
importance to the basic principles of life and stay away from the worldly
desires so that we won’t have to contrite for our deeds when we get old and
feeble.
Please ignore any grammar mistakes. The Target of this article is the youth,it would be highly appreciable if you rate and review this article and also let me know of the shortcomings as it is my first writing.
My Review
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Hi Talal, I think you are a natural, you write brilliantly and I could not detect any grammatical errors. Keep writing, this is a solid effort, I thoroughly engaged with your perceptions of this young boy's development and your philosophical stance was mature and enhanced the piece greatly, Well done.
I'll be another voice in the crowd saying this was a great write. I enjoyed reading it, no paragraphs or spacing, just straight forward life. Nice job!
"Perhaps it was the innocence, the purity that was missing throughout his adulthood. He indulged into things which were materialistic, virtual and unrighteous. ... If only he could go back in time and undo his wrong deeds. "
You have written the gist of all wisdom that mankind has discovered, forgotten , and rediscovered, time and again... I believe in the same, and could relate to every sentence of your write!
When you start describing how things get tough for the individual, I wish you would concentrate of specific obstacles. Just to give some ground, or stability to the short story.
"while most of them are productive others aren’t." I think it flows better if you say "are not" instead of "aren't"
Well I liked the originality of it. I too, often dwell on these things...I wonder about how life would be if things weren't this way. If I'd chosen the other path. If I'd live on other moral values. If I weren't me.
I especially loved the lines: "He repeats what you say and follows what you do. His sweet little acts are a source of joy for the whole family. This is undoubtedly the most cheerful stage of life." Reminds me of how pure we all start out to be and then how polluted and burnt we become of sin and misdeed and this and that. Life's tough but so are we :]
A pleasant read. However the underlying message behind it was perhaps a bit over simplified? The meanings behind this passage definitely could have been slightly more layered and instead of giving the reader the conclusion, maybe you could have allowed the reader to draw the conclusion for himself? Just a few comments but nonetheless, nice work!
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
thanks for your suggestions..i will keep them in mind for my next writing :-)
brilliantly written, very descriptive in the imagery you portrayed here regarding how when one gets older they tend to look back towards their childhood, with the "what if, if only i could, etc" - eloquently profound, very well penned. thanks for sharing :)
I am a 22 yr old medical student..though not a traditional writer, I write what i feel with words coming from my heart...i think if words are given the right path they can penetrate deeper than sword... more..