Chapter Four

“Mother, I have some bad news.” I say as I fly to her side.

“What?” She asks tersely. I take a breath, I have to tell her.

“I scratched myself with the arrow while looking at Psyche.” A moments pause, I hold my breath. Her eyes widen and I brace myself.

“You... did... WHAT?!” I flinch. She throws her hands in the air, “That is it! I am cursing her to a life without love! And you,” She turns on me. “You are not allowed to go near her!” My eyes narrow as I stare at her.

“Then you have cursed me as well. I shall no longer shoot arrows for you as long as you have this curse in place!” I throw down my quiver and bow, and fly off of Mount Olympus, headed for the mountain of the Muses. They will understand my plight. I look back as I’m flying and see that my mother has turned her back on me.

~*~

It has been months And I have not shot a single arrow, whether for Love, Lust, or Hate. The Muses comfort me with their golden apples and love poems. I do not know of Psyche, for I have not seen her since we were cursed. I have fallen into melancholy. A melancholy that can only be lifted by seeing my beloved’s face. Then one of the Muses suggests a marvelous idea.

“Why, dear Cupid, must you listen to Venus? She did not really curse you. Did you know that you are often referred to as a monster that neither Men nor Gods can resist. Why must you listen to a god that you could just as easily make her fall for a mortal herself.”

“That is brilliant! No more will I suffer this sadness!” Then another speaks.

“And why not marry her as well, take her to that palace in the mountains you never use.”

“But... How?”

“I hear her family is going to the oracle soon,” Another says. “We will tell Apollo what to tell them.”

“Thank you. All of you. For everything.” I say sincerely.

“Oh stop thanking us and attend to your palace!” And with that I fly off.

Reviews

[Bob Veres]

Tala, I think this is the skeleton of a good story. You have the plot, but the characters are much too one-dimensional.

I think this is probably how the Harry Potter series started, and then (and this is my suggestion to you) the author went back and brought her public school experiences to fill out the characters, the setting, the situation, and made it all recognizable to the audience. Suddenly, she had an interesting plot overlaid onto the school rivalries, the houses, the professors etc.

Does that make sense? The worst thing a reviewer can do is ask you to go back and rewrite everything, but in this case, I think Psyche's home life, her school, and HER need to be fleshed out. And I want the gods to live a normal, humdrum existence occasionally punctuated by their ability to work miracles. Take a few narcissistic adult women you know and project them into Venus. Have your former classmates come to life as Psyche's friends.

I don't think writing is as hard as we make it out to be; the world provides us with the material. You have the hard part, which is a plot that everyone will recognize and empathize with.