Thought #17 - An Illogical Fear

I have a fear. It’s different than most. Most people are scared of snakes, heights, death, etc. Well, I am scared of fear. I am terrified of the feeling that overwhelms your soul when you are unsure if your life is safely placed. I hate the feeling that hits you like a wave in an ocean of uncertainty.

But how does one overcome their fear if their fear is of fear itself. People tell me just to face it. But how you do you face what terrorizes your very soul if it is something that entrails nothing tangible. I know when the fear is coming but there is nothing I can do to stop it like a force of nature.

Do I fear death? No. I know when my soul no longer exists in this realm it will be for good reason. Maybe I did something to deserve it. Maybe it was punishment. But what I experience from this tormenting of my mind and body are far worse.

Now close your eyes. I want you to imagine a boat in a storm. Now imagine yourself standing at the front of the boat. Most people would be terrified of the storm and the raging seas but for me, it’s about as logical as fearing the boat instead. 

This fear of fear results in a vicious cycle that dictates my actions no matter where I am. This kind of fear is inescapable because in nearly every facet of life, there it lies. Most people have many fears, a few fears, or none at all. As for me, do I fear nothing or everything around me?

Author's Note

leave whatever thoughts you desire.