The Evil Other Half chapters 1-2

Give me a break, kay?

 

Evil Other Half

 

 

 

           INTRODUCTION

          Two boys stood at the gate of the graveyard entrance. One in a cloak holding a baby, and the other one in brown cloth pants and a long white shirt, both were eight years of age and drenched because of the rain.

           “Please Daiki. Please wont you take the child?” The one boy answered.

              “But why, Daichi?” Daiki asked.

             “It’s for Mai’s own good. Please!” Daichi was on his knees, the child close to him. “Mother said to get rid of her or else she’ll kill her. She already made it impossible for her to talk. Please!”

               And to this, Daiki agreed.

                        CHAPTER 1

        

             Cold sweat ran down’s Ayame’s face as she was getting out of bed. It’s midnight. She thought. Ayame went over to her twin sister’s bed. “Haruka, come on! It’s time to go!” She told her sister. “Wake up!”

             Haruka shot up from her bed. “It’s midnight?” She asked. Ayame nodded in the darkness. “Yes, but we really must be quiet,” she warned. They crept over to the window in their bedroom and opened it. “Come on!” Ayame whispered. She helped Haruka out and quietly closed the window. The air felt cool against the girls’ skins as they ran through out the night. 

          The year was 1883 and two girls were sneaking out. I’ll tell you a bit about why.

               Ayame and Haruka are sisters who are fifteen who met an eighteen- year- old guy named Daichi who only dwelled at night because he was a vampire. Their friend Daiki told them that Daichi wanted to see them all. For what, was still a surprise.

          The girls finally got to the big oak tree where they would meet their friends Kana, Sakura, Kazuki, and Daiki. After ten minutes, they saw not four but, five people coming their way.

        “Wow,” a guys’ voice said, “I didn’t think you two would get out of your house.” The voice was recognizable as Daiki’s. “Don’t worry Daiki, we did,” Ayame said. Daiki appeared in the darkness with Kazuki, and a mysterious young girl behind him.

            The girl was small, thin and looked as though she was a weak eight year old with straight platinum-blond hair that flowed in the dim wind. Her eyes that shown brightly in the dark. Kazuki who was eleven and Daiki who was fifteen. Both had short brown hair and wore overalls with white shirts.      

     Ayame looked at the mysterious girl. “Who’s that?” She asked. “Her name is Mai, but she never talks,” Kazuki explained, “She’s our…sister.” Ayame let out a sigh. “Like we need more people tonight.” Haruka nudged her sister painfully in the arm. “Be nice. She won’t be any trouble, sis,” she said

       The group walked into the cemetery until Mai poked Kazuki and moved her hands. “What?” he asked. She moved her hands again, but this time a bit slower. Kazuki stopped the group. “What did she say, bro?” Daiki asked. Haruka looked at him. “You have this girl and you don’t even know what she says?” Sakura punched Haruka lightly. “Who cares? At least one person…” Kazuki put his hand up. “Shut it, all of you! Mai said she hears foot steps.” He shooed everyone behind a grave tomb as the footsteps crept closer and closer.

       “You all really suck at hiding,” a voice said. The group got up and looked at the tall boy who was dressed in all leather. Mai moved her hands at Kazuki again. “Shut up, Mai. That’s not a good thing to say about people.” Mai shrugged and leaned herself against a gravestone. Kazuki looked at the boy.

       “Wonderful to see you Daichi,” He said. Daichi smiled. “And all the same to you. I'm glad you have all come.” He looked at Mai and touched her skin as though he were smoothing it. “I have been especially wanting to meet you, Mai,” he said, showing his sparkling fangs. Mai gasped and went next to Kazuki. “Don’t scare her, Daichi,” Kazuki said, holding Mai close to him. “Now, you are all probably wondering why I asked you ALL to come. The answer is very simple. I need help with some things,” Daichi said.

           “What kind of things would you need help with, Daichi?” Daiki asked. “Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to come…”

            “Oh no. It was an extremely good idea to come.” He pulled Mai away from Kazuki and held her as she struggled to get away. Daichi held her one arm tightly. The grip got tighter and tighter until they heard a crack. Mai burst in tears and Daichi pushed her back to Kazuki. “What was that for?” Ayame asked. “She’s just a little girl.”

         Daichi put on an evil grin. “That’s what’s going to happen to her whole body if you don’t listen to me. Now you’ve wasted too much of my time with your whining. Come again tomorrow and we’ll finish the business.” He looked at the sobbing Mai, who was holding her arm in pain. “And I say you should bring her too. Just incase.” With that, the vampire vanished and Mai ran away.

 

                                    Chapter 2                 

               “Where did Mai go?” Kazuki asked worriedly.                       

              “I’m not sure,” Daiki said.

              “Well, you two probably gave your little sister a heart-attack,” Haruka said. “Bringing the poor thing into a graveyard, not telling her why. I would leave to, if I could.”            Kazuki started to cry, and Ayame held him in her arms.

            “Don’t cry, Kazuki,” She whispered. “I’m sure that wherever Mai went, she’s okay.”

               Kazuki shook his head violently.

               “She isn’t okay! She isn’t!” He screamed. “She’s hurt and now she’s lost!”

                “Isn’t he overreacting?” Haruka whispered to Daiki. She was so low, neither Kazuki nor Ayame heard her.

                “No,” Daiki replied. “He and Mai have never been separated. I guess that is why Kazuki doesn’t go to school. I teach him when I’m not working and he keeps Mai company when I’m gone. Actually, he’s taking it better then I thought he would.”

              “Better?” Haruka asked.

              “Well, think about it,” Daiki said. “He could automatically assume that she’s dead and kill himself. Right now though, he seems to think she’s at least alive.”

                                Haruka nodded in agreement.

 

 

 

                “You’re right. Compared to that, he is taking this like good news.”

                 Walking back home with his brother, Kazuki turned to his brother.

                “Are we really going to just go home without Maimai?” He asked.

                 “We have to,” Daiki replied. “You and I both need our sleep.”

                 Kazuki could tell that his brother was also upset. His voice sounded cold and hard. But Kazuki wasn’t going to give up so easily.

                  “But Mai needs somewhere to sleep too,” he said.

                  “We’ll look for her after I am done with school tomorrow,” Daiki said sternly. “I am done with this conversation now.”

                     “Life was easier when mom and dad were still alive,” Kazuki said under his breath.

                                  

 

                      

Reviews

[Vanguard]

I'm not really sure what to think here. This opening intrigues me, but because it ends so abruptly I don't know anything and am just left wondering, So I recommend you lengthen it to give the characters a definite goal.

Thankfully the vampires were nasty antagonists and not love interests, which is a definite plus.