Winifred Sanderson: You know, I've always wanted a child. And now I think I'll have one... on toast!
Sarah: [singing in the sky] Come little children, I'll take thee away / Into a land of enchantment / Come little children, the times come to play / Here in my garden of magic.
Jay: You got any cash, Hollywood? Max: No. Ernie "Ice": Gee, we don't get any smokes from you. We don't get any cash. What am I supposed to do with my afternoon? Max: Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose. Jay: AH HA HA HA!
Jay: Let's have a butt. Max: No thanks, I don't smoke. Ernie "Ice": They're very health conscious in Los Angeles.
Winifred Sanderson: WHY? Why was I cursed with such IDIOT sisters? Sarah: Just lucky, I guess.
Max: Let's light this sucker and meet the old broads.
Max: [Over P.A] Welcome to High School Hell. I'm your host, Boris Karloff, Jr. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Jay: So, where're you from? Max: Los Angeles.
[Jay and Ice look at him with confused looks] Max: ...L.A. Jay: [Finally getting it] Oh, dude! Ernie "Ice": Tubular.
Master's Wife: Okay that's it, party's over! Get out of my house! Master: Now, puddin' face... Master's Wife: Shove it, Satan! Sarah: Ooh. Thou mustn't speak to Master in such a manner. Master: They call me Master. Master's Wife: Wait 'til you see what I'm gonna call you.
Master's Wife: Now, tart face, take your Clark bars and get out of my house! Winifred Sanderson: Make us. Master: Honeybunch... Master's Wife: Ralph, sic'em!
[a small dog chases Winnie, Sarah and Mary out of the house]
Jay: Oh man, how come it's always the ugly chicks that stay out late? Winifred Sanderson: [Winnie, Sarah and Mary stop, turn and glare at the boys] Chicks?
Jenny: Hey, Max, how was school? Max: It sucked! Dave: Hey, watch your language.
[Max goes upstairs and slams his bedroom door] Max: I can't believe you made me move here! Jenny: Hmm, he wasn't wearing any shoes. Dave: Must be some form of protest.
Ernie "Ice": [Jay and Ice are locked in cages] Hollywood, help us out here!
[Max Takes Ice's shoes] Max: Tubular.
[Ice whimpers]
Winifred Sanderson: We're just a couple of spinster ladies. Mary Sanderson: Spending a quiet evening at home. Sarah: Sucking the lives out of little children!
[Winifred chokes Sarah]
Max: You've messed with the great and powerful Max! Now you must suffer the consequences! I'm going to summon the burning rain of death! Winifred Sanderson, Sarah, Mary Sanderson: [murmuring together] The burning rain of death? Max: [lights lighter] Winifred Sanderson: Look, he makes fire in his hand. Max: [raises lighter to sprinkler, and the spreads out his arms wide] Winifred Sanderson: It's the burning rain of death! Come you fools!
[pulls them off to the side]
Winifred Sanderson: My ungodly book speaks to you. On All Hallow's Eve, when the moon is round, a virgin, will summon us from under the ground. Oh Oh! We shall be back, and the lives of all the children of Salem will be mine!
[All three witches cackle]
[Sarah is pushed onto the "black river", but lands straight up] Sarah: 'Tis firm! 'Tis firm as stone! Winifred Sanderson: Why, it's a road!
Voice of Thackery Binx: [after being run over by a city bus] I hate it when that happens...
Dani: Next year we go trick or treating as Wendy and Peter Pan
[staring at max straight in the eye] Dani: with tights or its no deal.
Allison: I like your costume, Dani. Dani: Thank you! I really like yours too. Of course, I couldn't wear anything like that because I don't have any - what do you call them, Max? Yabbos?
[Max nearly spits out the cider he's drinking] Dani: Max likes your yabbos... in fact, he loves them!
Winifred Sanderson: Don't you see? All Hallow's Eve has turned into a night of frollick where children dress up in costumes and run amuck! Sarah: Amuck!
[dances around] Sarah: Amuck, amuck, amuck, amuck, amuck...
[Winnifred punches Sarah in the stomach] Sarah: Ugh!
Dani: It's a full moon tonight. That's when all the weirdos are out.
Little Angel: [to the Sanderson sisters] Bless you!
[the sisters scream]
Dani: Officer! Officer! You have to help us. This is my brother Max and he's a virgin and he lit the black flame candle and summoned the Sanderson sisters and now they're trying to suck the lives out of children! Cop: [to Max, dead serious] You lit the black flame candle?
[Max nods] Cop: Come over here, son, I wanna speak with you.
[Whispering] Cop: Are you really a virgin? Max: Yeah. Cop: Really? Max: Look, I'll get it tattooed on my forehead, okay?
Max: What happened? Dani: [re-adjusts her witch's hat and says in a disgusted tone] A virgin... lit the candle.
Max: [Allison and Dani try attacking Billy] No, no! He's a *good* zombie. Dani: Hi Billy!
Sarah: Dead man's toe! Dead man's toe! Dead! Dead! dead!
Dani: [to Winifred] It doesn't matter how young or old you are, you sold your soul! You're the ugliest thing that ever lived, and you know it!
Billy Butcherson: Says to Winifred "Witch! Trollop! You buck toothed, mop riding, firefly from hell!"
Billy Butcherson: [to Winifred] Witch! Trollop! You buck toothed, mop riding, firefly from hell!
[to Max] Billy Butcherson: You don't know how long I've wanted to say that. Max: [disgusted] Say whatever you want; just don't breath on me!
Winifred Sanderson: Well, tell me then, what do you call this contraption? Bus Driver: I call it... a bus. Winifred Sanderson: A bus. And its purpose? Bus Driver: To convey such beautiful creatures such as yourselves to your most... forbidden desires. Winifred Sanderson: [laughs] "We desire... children. Bus Driver: Hey, it may take me a couple of tries, but I don't think there will be a problem.
Winifred Sanderson: [Exiting the clay oven where they were lured by a learn to speak French tape] Hello, I want my book. Bonjour, Je veux mon livre.
Mary Sanderson: Sisters, look! Satan has married Medusa! See the little snakes in her hair.
Bus Driver: Mmm, mmm, mmm! I need one of those instant ice packs. You girls are giving me a fever!
Master: Mary go long...
[Master throws a candy bar to her] Master: you could be a tight end.
Max: [suddenly startled by Dave in a vampire costume] Oh! Dad. Dave: It's not dad. It's Dadcula.
[see's Allison] Dave: Oh, my goodness. Who must this charming young blood donor be?
[kisses Allison's hand] Max: Dad! Something terrible happened. Dave: [suddenly concerned] Danni? What's wrong? Wh - Wh... Max: No, Dani's fine. Dave: [sighs] Good.
[to Allison] Dave: Excuse me. Come here.
[he leads Max away] Dani: [looks for Jenny, and finds her] Mom?
[Jenny turns around in a Madonna costume] Dani: Mom? Jenny: Hmm? Dani: What are you supposed to be? Jenny: Madonna. Well, you know - Well, obviously. Don't ya think? Dave: Shoot, Max. Look, whatever it is, just tell me. Dani: [to Jenny] Come here. Jenny: What? Dani: This cat here, Binx, right? He can talk. My brother's a virgin: he lit the black flame candle. The witches are back from the dead and they're after us. We need help. Jenny: How much candy have you had, honey? Dani: Mom, I haven't O.D.'d. I haven't even had a piece. They're real witches, they can fly, and they're gonna eat all the kids in Salem. They're real! Jenny: All right, let's just find your father.
Emily: Thackery Binx? Where are you Thackery Binx?
Winifred Sanderson: Unfaithful lover long since dead. Deep asleep in thy wormy bed. Wiggle thy toes, open thine eyes, twist thy fingers toward the sky. Life is sweet, be not shy. On thy feet. So sayeth I!
Thackery Binx: Elijah! Elijah!
[he runs up to Elijah] Thackery Binx: Hast thou seen my sister Emily? Elijah: Nay. But look.
[he points to purple smoke in the sky] Elijah: They conjure. Thackery Binx: Oh, God. The woods!
[he and Elijah run towards the field and see Sarah leading Emily into the woods] Thackery Binx: Emily! Elijah: She's done for. Thackery Binx: Not yet! You wake my father. Summon the elders. Go!
[Elijah races off whie Thackery heads for the woods]
I am single and an age. I hate people, but I love them. I get scared very easily and, well, i wont say why. I'm a poet, though i'm bad at it. My best friends are: Wa Ya As The Gothic Cowboy, ATG, .. more..
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