Vamp Wars: Chapter 2

 

                     Chapter 2

            The bus pulled in about six minutes later than usual. I got on the bus and sat next to Jennifer, Mike and Joe. Everyone just calls Jennifer ‘Jen’ Mike ‘K’ and Joe ‘Joe’. They were the only ones that called me ‘Goldie’ at first.   It was a friend thingy that just about nobody else understands in Eldred. 

 

          “Heeeeeeeeey Goldie!” K said flirtatiously. “Hey K!” I said quickly. K’s had a crush on me, but I’m a year older than him, so it wouldn’t work out much. I turned to Jen and Joe. “Hey guys!” I said, but they both ignored me. Jen was listening to her I Pod and Joe was sleeping.

 

          There was this boy named Theodore on my bus and he was torture. He always sat next to me just to annoy me. Today he was all up in my face. “Hey Ana! Whatcha doin’? Can I do it with you?” I had two choices. The first was that I could sleep and listen to my CD Player and the second choice was that I could talk with Theodore. I decided that I didn’t need the anger so I listened to my CD Player and quickly fell asleep.

                       

       I slept for what seemed like a minute before Jen and K were both in front of my face, each taking a turn on poking me. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” I yelled. “I’m trying to sleep!” Jen shrugged. “We are trying to wake you up because we are at school”.

 

                           I looked outside the bus. There stood my new school, Eldred High. “Thanks guys! I’m sorry I yelled. I just didn’t really get good enough sleep.” Joe rolled his eyes. “Geez Goldie! That’s why we call you Anger Girl. You’re always yelling at people.” I ignored his comment. “Bye Jen! Bye Joe! Hope you guys have a wonderful first day of school.” And I rushed off the bus. Joe and Jen both stayed on the bus with all the other Middle School children.

       I took a quick look at my new schedule. Wonderful. I thought. I have math first. I’ve always hated math. I looked at the teachers’ name. Miss Mayhem. It’s probably some teacher who is going to be all rude and nasty to me. I’ve got my own ways of doing stuff and she will go complaining about how I do. I wanted to look for my friend Hailey before class. She was small and skinny and also a cheerleader. I found my other friends Nichi, Katrina, and Samantha, but no Hailey. She was always hard to get. I decided to go to class and face the ultra destruction.

Reviews

[Nik Dendera]

Slight nit pick. You change tenses. " K's had a crush on me, but I'm a year older than him, so it wouldn't work out much. I turned to Jen and Joe" I mean, I know what you're trying to say, but maybe just iron out the little kinks.

Again, nice piece. One thing though is maybe make the chapters a little longer-give the reader something they can get their teeth into (no pun intended.)

I like the teenage insecurities and thoughts. I sort of remember my teenage years, so it was a bit nostalgic (though our school structure is way different to yours and we don't have cheerleaders...)