Indecisive

I feel lost sometimes

Another day wasted, writing these letters to the unknown person in my head

I can hear the voices, but can they hear me?

This pain is unbearable; Mental Stress

My pastor says Jesus will find a way

But everyday I go further astray

I cannot feel him, hear him, why is it then that I believe?

The majority of us seem to believe that he will return

One day and save the saved, but discard the unsaved. 

How does that benefit me, how does it benefit you?

Have you been saved, do you know the truth?

I don't, I'm still buried in sin and my own beliefs

Addicted to the world and everything in it, 

I wish I could save myself, 

but I'm too young and wild to be the savior. 

Sometimes I even think that there's nothing to live for

waiting for death to knock on my front door,

but what will that solve?

Yes, the pain would be dissolved and replaced 

with myself burning in eternal fire

but is that what I truly want or is it a false desire?

The truth is this, I don't know what I want.

Author's Note

Sometimes I feel uncertain of my life and everything in it