Grey-Sky Lullaby

I was asked to write a song for a wedding. Here the resulting lyrics.

 

I'll try this on with you

I'll write a song for you

Lay out this quilt on a hill

Listen for the birds as they

Sing that pretty story of

A girl who found a love that was real

It's ok, It's ok.

 

You'll put on that pretty dress

The one the crowd will like the best

White dress you'll only wear for a day

Then we'll see our families

You're smiling as you walk with me

The sky will watch the doves fly away

It's our day, It's our day

 

Oh, oh falling in love from the start

Oh, but now that I know who you are

I love you more

Breathe slow, honey oh darling we both know

I wouldn't trade you for a star,

I love you so

 

Oh, oh, falling in love from the start,

Oh, but now that I know your whole heart

I love you more

Breathe slow, honey oh darling we both know

I wouldn't trade you for the stars,

I need you so...

Author's Note

I know the last two stanzas are almost identical, i just included both because one is sung softley, and one is belted at full volume. I didn't want to include only one because I didn't want the song to be too short.

Reviews

[SamBug]

Oh, oh, falling in love from the start,

Oh, but now that I know your whole heart

I love you more

Breathe slow, honey oh darling we both know

I wouldn't trade you for the stars,

I need you so...

This is the sweetest lines I have ever heard. It was the best part of this whole poem. You're an amazing writer. please don't ever stop!!!!

[Liz]

This made my heart melt.
Beautiful and simple.
Nicely done.

This is beautifully
Well done

[RDOriginal]

This is a song that captures a feeling of gentle love and hope for the future.

Reading through the lyrics I think you've done a good job of avoiding too many wedding references - the temptation of which would, I imagine be quite great. In my opinion a wedding is very little to do with the event itself but more about the love between the two people involved. So, by keeping content such as, 'white dress you'll only wear for a day' in the second verse alone the piece isn't overly context sensitive. In addition, this song could later be 'tweaked' to perhaps celebrate an anniversary or become a simple love song with no contextual details.

I think the similarity between the third and final verses is needed as with no 'true' chorus a listener is probably going to be expecting an element of repetition: which until that point has only been present in the last few words of each verse. Avoiding a chorus however also means that this works just as well as a poem, without it reading like a lyrics sheet.

To me this represents the genuine love that a wedding should be all about. It works well as both a poem and a song and you should be proud of what you've achieved.

[ANGEL.X]

great song! its BEAUTIFUL :)

[Ruth]

Beautifully voiced!
This is wonderfully moving
A nice acoustic piece, I feel :)
xx

[B. Bassett]

Aw this is so cute. I love it.

[Bethany]

This is lovely, at what part of the wedding will it be played?

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

So beautiful! ;p
"I wouldn't trade you for the stars"
That's precious!

[Dakota]

Great song. Such desire and romantic ideas about love, classic love songs are wrote just this way.