Star-Seeing and Open Windows

Lyrics to a song I wrote. Wish you could hear me play it. ; )

 

Marie saw a star

Somewhere not far from here

It winked out goodbye,

as it sailed through the sky...

 

Somwhere on Earth

A little girl started to smile.

It stretched far and wide,

anyone could see it for miles.

 

Maybe you'll see her,

Lookin' out her window?

Searching for hope

Or maybe a star-show...

Maybe a star-show?

 

Brad saw the sun

It was a little too bright for his eyes

He only came out at night,

Where he knew he could hide...

 

Alone in his room,

A little boy started to cry.

Face to the bed,

He'd always wonder why?

 

Maybe you'll see him

Lookin' out his window?

Searching for hope

Or maybe a star-show...

Maybe a star-show?

 

Maybe you'll see me

Lookin' out my window?

Searching for hope

Or maybe a star-show...

Maybe a star-show?

Author's Note

Better with piano. = ]

Reviews

[Laura]

"It winked out goodbye,
as it sailed through the sky..."
I really like this part a lot. I like the whole poem of course, but I don't know, I really like that part. I can imagine it easily. The ending is brilliant too. Great poem. I'd love to hear it with the piano going along with it. :)

[Martz]

I really liked your poem. It was lovely, it almost sounded like a song. Great job!

[verbalkaiser]

I liked it. You could youtube it.
I think I may have liked it better had you used "Marie saw A star." I may not be the best critic of poetry, and I'll be the first to admit that. I don't want you to change it if you already feel it is complete. That's your writing, not mine.
I know it probably seems silly, but that single letter word would make a difference to me. All in all it is very artistic I must say.

[Donna M. Burr]

I loved that! It sounded like a song to me and I adored it. My middle name is "Marie" so that part definitely caught my attention. :3 I love this piece just as much as "Places," but while the other did imagery, I can feel emotions from this one. Wonderful job!

[deeps]

I think this is a beuatiful write here.
Flows so well and has rhythm.

[Travis Lawrence]

Yes, these seem like good lyrics, I'd love to hear them with the music. Piano, you say? Awesome, I've been trying to learn myself for more than a year, it's the best instrument there is besides its portability, the range allows for some awesome song writing. But I ramble... Yeah, it really isn't worth critiquing without the complete package though. You should upload the song to youtube or something, then post it here.

[Elwina]

I love it.
Searching for hope in the sky, such an activity of mine when I was a kid.
Sends me back there.
I'm sure it's just awesome with piano.

[Lorame]

These words are sweet. I'm curious...what is the music like that goes with this?

[KatiePie]

I really like how this gave me images all through the piece, I could see the whole thing flowing in my mind with every word, you did a great job and you show a lot of talent! :)
Good work, keep it up

[Kitten]

I love this, it really brings images to my head! Beautiful.