A Comedic Tale Of A Girl Who's Given Up

A Stage Play by Chris

A girl gives up on life and a teacher tries to understand why. Oddly funny- quirkiness at its finest.

The scene takes place in the High School commons. People enter from stageright and leave from the stageleft. Lockers line the walls and people pass by hurriedly. Pieces of trash litter the floor. A girl is lying down, backpack under her head, in center stage- looking aimlessly up. The girl looks like any teen who has given up. A few people give her glaring looks , but most pass by unfazed. The bell rings and only the girl and a male teacher remain. The teacher is short and brown haired with a meek and unkempt appearance.

Teacher: Hey! Umm… you can't be out here!

Girl: *Sighs*

Teacher: That's not an answer… I have to let you

Girl: (interrupting) Why?

Teacher: Why what? What do you mean why? Why you can't be out here?

Girl: No, no, no *turning on her side* Why do you care?

Teacher: I mean… *Begins chuckling* alright you got me there

Girl: *Sighs*

Teacher: Alright, stop sighing, and go to class. Now. (Girl doesnt move) Please?

Girl: No. No. Nopety. No.

Teacher: (Begins to speak) Alr...

Girl: (Cuts off teacher) Nó

Teacher: (Looks puzzled) Was that last no in spanish?... Alright, whatever, nevermind. WIll you… maybe… at least tell me why you’re lying here… please.

Girl: *Faces teacher while still lying down* I've given up.

Teacher: (Looks half puzzled half worried) Like as in school?

Girl: Like as in life.

Teacher: *Turns away for moment rubs eyes* Can. Can I sit down?

Girl: No…….. You can lie down.

Teacher: *Awkwardly shuffles himself into a lying position. Schooches around until he is shoulder to shoulder with the girl*. So… um… do you wanna talk?

Girl: Shhh. Shhh. Im looking at the stars. *Stares up at lights*

Teacher: Those are lights… don't look at those… you’re gonna hurt your eyes.

Girl: I can see the light… It's calling my name.

Teacher: Oh dear lord. Stop that. Now please can you tell me why you’ve given up.

Girl is about to open mouth… second period bell rings. Students come pouring from both sides of the hallway and hurry to the other side or into their lockers. Two students stop to talk to the girl and the teacher.

Student 1- Mr. Arnold.

Teacher: Yes Nathan?

Student 1- Why are you on the ground? Next to Melissa?

Student 2- Hey Melissa. I like your look of despair and existential anguish. You make it work.

Student 1- Hey, shut up Bill, I was asking Mr. Arnold something.

Girl: *Sighs*

Teacher: Bill… Nathan… go away.

Student 1: Look watcha made him do Bill.

Student 2: You know what Bill? I don't need this… *Begins walking away, flashes smile to girl* Bye.

Girl: *Waves and then turns over to face the floor*

Bell rings once more and all of the students rush to the exits. Papers are dropped and textbooks are left. Trash litters on top of the Teacher, but not the girl.

Teacher: *Smiling childishly* Hey… hey…. Hey…

Girl: Whaaaaat.

Teacher: That boy was kind of cute wouldn't you say?

Girl: Shutup.

Teacher: Probably your type.

Girl: Stop now.

Teacher: Maybe he's the reason you’re lying here.

Girl: I swear to god if you don't…

Teacher: What did he do to you. Did he break the tender cord of love within your heart? DId he promise you everything and give to you nothing? Did he tell you that you were his only and then find another?

Girl: *Begins crying* No. That has nothing to do with anything.

Teacher: (Looks down at ground guiltily) I'm sorry... I was getting ahead of myself. *Awkwardly pats girl on back* There There.

Girl: Can you just go away?

Teacher: I actually can't legally, no. Not that Id leave anyway.

There is an awkward pause. The teacher starts humming to himself and the girl is looking straight up at the ceiling again.

Girl: *Sits up* Do you really have to know?

Teacher: *Nods head rapidly and hits forehead on knee*

Girl: Fine… It all started in Mrs. Craps class

Teacher: It's Crapple

Girl: Yes… anyways

End Scene 1

Begin Scene 2

The scene is a classroom with a single semi-circle of desks audience with Mrs. Crapple standing in the middle- with no desks directly behind her. Mrs. Crapple is played by a stern old woman with painfully vibrant colors on. The students are your average teens. The girl walks in from the left while Mrs. Crapple is beginning to teach.

Girl: Sorry… I'm late… I was attacked by a beagle.

Students laugh and snicker in backround. Girl turns to glare at them.

Mrs. Crapple: Now isn't that a plausible excuse.

Girl: Do you want to see my wounds.

Mrs. Crapple: No. I want you to sit down.

Girl: *Walks towards Mrs. Crapple* Here look *Pulls up pant leg*

Mrs. Crapple: I said sit down!

Student 3: Nice one Melissa!

Girl: Shut up Rodney. We all know you eat off brand cereal.

Student 3: What does that have to do with anything?

Girl: Only losers eat off brand cereal.

Student 4: She's right you know.

Murmur of agreement spreads throughout classroom.

Mrs. Crapple: Sit down now. You get an F for participation today and I will fail you this entire term if you don't stay quiet.

Girl: *Looks sincerely towards teacher* I'm sorry *Turns around, give the ok sign and winks towards classmates*.

Mrs. Crapple: Now class who wants to learn about Trigonometry?

Pained moan comes from the entire class.

Mrs. Crapple: Let me rephrase that now. Who doesn't want a detention today?

Everyone: Meeeee *In same despondent tone*

Mrs. Crapple: Now Rodney; What's the difference between an isosceles and a right triangle?

Student 3: *Begins to speak* Well.

Girl: *Fake coughs words* Off Brand cereal.

Entire class: *Fake coughs words* Off Brand cereal.

Mrs. Crapple: What was that?

Girl: It was nothing.

Mrs. Crapple: Let me believe your lie, this time.

Student 3: Well, in some cases a right triangle can be an isosceles. However a right triangle always is 90 degrees, while an isosceles triangle is not so always.

Mrs. Crapple: Thank you, Rodney. Good to know someone is listening to me.

Student 3: *Nods head*

Mrs. Crapple: Now class please answer your worksheets in a timely manner.

Students take worksheet and pencil from under their desks. Student 3 begins to pass a note around. All of the students laugh at it. Eventually, it makes its way into the girl’s hands. She looks at it and reads it over and over again- growing more and more concerned. Tears well up in her eyes. She stands up at and faces Random Student 3.

Girl: (Red faced and teary eyes) Nothing that you said was true… It's all lies! Why would you even? Screw you and your off brand cereal, Rodney! *Takes not and throws it at him*. Screw you!

Mrs. Crapple: *Ruler in hand* Get out of my class now! You get an F for the term… for the entire year. Leave! (Voice steely and firm).

Girl: *Smacks paper off Random Student 1’s desk and then storms out of room*.

End Scene 2

Begin Scene 3

Scene returns to the girl and the teacher in the comments. The girl is clenching her fists and seems to be holding back tears.

Girl: Now do you understand?

Teacher: I… I think so.

Girl: I've given up because of Rodney and his stupid off brand cereal.

Teacher: What's your problems against off brand cereal? I'll have you know…

Girl: Stop.

Teacher: Look… you don't have to give up.

Girl: Yes I do.

Teacher: No you really don't.

Girl: Yes.

Teacher: No

Girl: Yes

Teacher: No

Girl: Yes

Teacher: Okay look. You don't have to give up. Have you even tried talking to her?

Girl: (Sarcastically) Have you ever tried talking to her?

Teacher: *Sighs* Alright I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

Girl: I'm listening.

Teacher: Peanut brittle… Mrs. Crapple loves peanut brittle… tell her you’re sorry and she just might fix your grade.

Girl: I'll give her peanut brittle, but will never apologize.

Teacher: Let me tell you a little story....

The Girl and the teacher move out of center stage, watching from the left. A student dressed as Mrs. Crapple runs to stage. Two students run up beside her.

Student 5: *Shouting* Mrs. Crapple correct the test

Student 6: *Whining obnoxiously* Change my grade

Student 5: *Shouting even louder* I need to know my score

Student 6: Just round my 72% to a 100%

Student 5: *Turning away* Mean old woman!

Student 6: *Turning away* Got her panties in a bunch!

Student 5 and 6 run off the stage leaving Mrs. Crapple in center stage alone. She sighs deeply and then slowly lowers herself to the ground. Here she lay- looking up at the ceiling with a look of resignation in her eyes. Someone runs from the right and grabs Mrs. Crapple by the arms and pulls her off scene. The teacher and the girl move back to center stage.

Girl: Oh *Looks off sadly with her knees bunched close to her chest* That's what it's like to be a teacher?

Teacher: Nobody respects you. It hurts after a while.

Girl: Can… Can I hug you.

Teacher: Legally no… you can do jazz fingers though.

Girl: I’m going to give you a hug.

The teacher and the girl stand up. The girl gives the teacher a hug and the teacher just awkwardly stands there unmoving.

Teacher: You know what you have to do, right?

Girl: *Nods and smiles* I'm gonna give Mrs. Crapple the largest bear hug ever!

Teacher: And…

Girl: Give her a ton of peanut brittle.

Teacher: That right.

Girl: Mr. Arnold?