Please?

I sat there for a long time just remembering him. I took a deep breath and stood up. I couldn’t go home. Not now at least… I thought about going to Emily’s house but I didn’t want to go to a family house. I wanted to be alone, in the rain, just alone.

I started walking, just walking, and just going somewhere. Memories of him saying stuff to me: the yelling at me, and being there for me. Tears streaming down my face, I feel my heart pounding and at this moment I couldn’t even think of Colin. Everything got blurry and I started running towards Main St. I stopped at City County Bank. I was panting.

After about five minutes of rest, I decided not to make any decisions and just walk. I didn’t know where I would end up. The rain was pouring by this time; I bet that I didn’t have any make up on anymore, which I was fine with. I felt the water running off of my face and my clothes basically drenched. 

I knew these houses… but I couldn’t think of where I was! I had to think of something else, but what? Colors… independent yet clam colors. Blue… medium blue. It was smoothing, nice and cool. I got a chill and that’s when I realized I was ringing someone’s doorbell. I’ve been on this porch so many times before, but I couldn’t think of who it was.

The door opened and Scarlet was there. Scarlet was Toby’s mom. She was nice and sweet, just like him. She was beautiful with her black hair and green eyes. She was smiling until she noticed that I was drenched.

“Lenex, what are you doing? It’s pouring out! Come… come inside,” she said in a rush to get me in.

“Here, put these on. They are Lassie’s but they should be a bit big,” she said as she handed me a set of clothes while I was still standing there, now shivering.

I go into the bathroom, and by now I know their house inside and out. Since I came here I had to brush my hair. I walk out of the bathroom to find Toby standing there waiting for me.

“ What happened?” he asks as I walk towards him.

“Can we sit down?” I ask purposely not using correct grammar.

“Ya,” he said knowing it was something bad.

“Um, well I guess it’s kind of a long story,” I said as he sat on the other side of the couch.

“You can tell me anything,” he looked at me just curiously.

I took a couple of seconds to think of how to put that, ‘my dad died…’ you just don’t do that.

Finally I say, “Well, you know how my dad has been ‘out of town’,” I said with the hand motion.

“Uh, ya??” he said widening his eyes.

“Um, well there was an accident,” I said trying my best not to cry in front of him.

“What… what kind of accident?” he asked, but I knew he didn’t really want to know.

“Um, well he is… um he’s,” I had to pause to take a deep DEEP breath.

“He’s dead…” I felt a tear coming down my face, and I looked at him.

He was in shock completely. His eyes were big and I knew that he was processing this, just like me. Within a couple of moments I still had tears falling but he got a tear in his eye and then I knew that he just completed his process. He blinked with a couple of tears coming down his face and looked at me. I was still looking at him.

He wiped the tears and sat very close to me and took hand.

“I’m here, just you can talk to me,” he said and he closed his eyes real tight. “You can stay the night, I will go tell my mom,” he said while he got up and started walking towards her bedroom. “Hey, don’t go anywhere,” he said and tried to smile.

I never knew that this day would come. My dad and I were never close, he hated me and I hated him, but we loved each other. He was ‘daddy’ to Glory and the twins just not me.

I was shocked, with my dad gone it made Toby and get close, real close, or I think. It was couple of minutes and he came back, he stood there in the corner of the doorway, watching me. I was still crying but I was staring at the floor, a tan carpet with no stains, just perfect.

“You can stay,” he said coming to sit next to me.

I looked and faked smiled. “Thank you,” I knew that I couldn’t let this affect me at all; I had to get past it, NOW!

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out without knowing what I was saying.

“Why?” he asked.

I had to think of a reason and quickly. “Because, I come here instead of staying home,” I said hoping that he would take it.

“Lenex, I know you way too well. You couldn’t have stayed home. You would be miserable, but you are here and I’m not letting that happen,” he trying his best to convince me.

I smiled in relief.

“See now there you go. That wasn’t fake,” he said smiling back. “We are going to have a fun night! There is no school tomorrow, Saturday,” he getting up to look at the movies.

Scarlet walked in, she had now changed from her PJ’s to work clothes.

“I have an emergency at the hospital, so I will be gone until tomorrow night. Lenex, will you be okay?” she looked with a worried look but I nodded and fake smiled. “Okay, if you need anything call me, okay? And, Toby can I talk to you?” she asked him in that motherly way to tell them ‘come here’.

“Ya, sure,” he said putting the movies back.

I tried not to eavesdrop but they were right there, I couldn’t help it.

“I don’t want you trying anything okay? She’s in a rough patch…” she said but I knew what she meant.

“Mom, she’s a friend, an awesome one and I don’t want to lose her,” he said very quietly.

“Okay, but still, and if you do I will have to kill you,” she said but I knew she was joking.

“Okay, well bye,” he turned around and walked back into the room.

“Bye, be good!” she looked at Toby and I couldn’t help but smile.

He rolled his eyes and she left, I heard her car start and drive away.

“Okay, so what movie?” he asked while looking.

“Um, I don’t know…” I said as I stood up and walked towards him.

I saw ‘Pitch Perfect’ and I went to grab and apparently so did he. Our hands touched and we pulled away quickly, smiling with a little giggle.

“You wanna watch this?” he said smiling.

“Apparently you do too,” I said nodding.

I sat on the couch and got comfortable. He put in the movie and turned on the surround system. He grabbed a blanket and sat next to me. 

“Do you want popcorn?” he asks me while he presses play.

“Um, no thanks, but if you want some then you can have some,” I said trying not to ruin the idea.

“Ehh, nah, nope,” he said as he was watching the movie.

I knew this movie very well. I watched it all of the time with Taylor, Tsunami, and Glory. I loved it; it was romantic, with drama.

“Okay, well while this is getting started I will go get some popcorn,” he as he got up. 

“So, you do want some?” I ask with a puzzle look on my face.

“Ya, I changed my mind,” he said smiling as he walked towards the kitchen.

I looked around and studied the place. I’ve been in the living room so many times but something was different, but I didn’t know what. It seemed as if it was more welcoming.

Toby came back with a bowl of popcorn and sat it on his lap. He took some popcorn and put it in his mouth. I just sat there looking at him with fascination. 

“Yes?” he asked while stuffing more popcorn in his mouth.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking,” I said as I took some popcorn.

The movie was about to the puking part (spoiler alert) and I hated to watch it. I could listen just fine but watching made me sick. Right before it happened I covered my eyes with the blanket and scared closed my eyes as tight as I could. 

“Um, are you okay?” he asked as he peeked under the blanket.

“Is it over?” I ask kind of loudly.

“What? The puking? Yea, why?” he asked all at once.

“I hate that part, it makes me sick,” I say as I come out of the covers cautionally looking at the screen.

“Oh, well you are safe, I promise,” he says so serious like.

I look up at him and smile, “thank you,” I say as I snuggle with him.

The movie kept going and we just watched.

“Do you want more popcorn?” he asks as he grabs the bowl.

“Well, considering that you ate most of it…” I say in a very sarcastic way, “no thank you, I’m fine.” 

“Okay, if you need anything just tell me,” he said as he sat the bowl on the other side.

I took a few seconds to decide if I should ask him or not. I finally decided not to and ease into the conversation.

“Um, every since Taylor’s accident you haven’t talked to me…” I said hoping he wouldn’t kick me out.

“Well, with what was going on with your family, I didn’t want to put more stress on you…” he said in a shaky way.

I turned my head to look at his eyes and shook my head, “no I…” I turned back to the movie before I said the rest since it was embarrassing, “I wanted you to talk to me, and you have never put stress or made me mad!”

At last I sat up, and looked at the floor again. He turned my head so I had to look at him.

At that moment I knew that we had something more than friends. We looked into each other’s eyes and almost kissed but I turned my head before we could.

I fell asleep at the end of the movie and so did he. I was right by his chest so I could hear his heartbeat but by morning he was in the kitchen making breakfast. I sat up from the couch and stretched. Last night was awesome; we talked and talked and talked.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Toby came into the room with breakfast on a lap table.

“What is this?!?” I ask as he sets it on my lap.

“This is breakfast in…on the couch,” he said as he smiled and sat by me.

“Thank you, I guess I should stay over more often to get treated like a queen,” I say knowing the only reason why he is doing this.

He reaches over and holds my hand, with that moment I look at him, “that’s not the only reason.” I touch his cheek with my hand and lean in. We are just about to kiss, closed eyes and everything but his doorbell goes off. I jump back with a startle. 

“Oh my, that’s probably Glory or my mom. I didn’t tell them where I was,” I said sad but scared.

“I will answer it,” he as he got up and let go of my hand.

I had a very nervous feeling about him checking the doorbell.

“Will you look and see who it is first?” I ask with the worry coming out as I spoke. He looked at me with a weird yet you-are-right look. Without saying something else he looked through the window right beside the door and opened it.

“Is she here?” I could hear Glory’s voice very anxious.

“Ya, she’s in the living room, do you need to see her?” Toby asked very calmly.

“Um, no I just wanted to make sure she was with someone that would keep her safe,” she said as walked towards her car.

As much as I stayed away from my sister, I knew her better than anyone. The worry in her voice made it sound like something worse had happened when I was gone.

Toby closed the door and came back to the couch.

“That was strange, she never just checks on you,” Toby said with a question on his face.

I stared at the floor and just thought of all the things that could have happened when I was away.

“Are you okay?” Toby asked as he reached for my hand.

I pulled away and just kept thinking of what could have happened. It was a couple minutes I supposed until I looked up out of my daydream. 

“I’m sorry, I just can’t… I don’t know,” I say trying to figure out to say to him.

“Hey, I’m right here. You can talk to me about this if you want to,” he said as he was getting a game ready.

“I think I should go,” I said as I stood up.

“Where are you going to go?” he asked not really caring.

“I don’t know, bye,” I walk to the door and opened it.

I looked back but he was still getting his game set up. I knew right then he was just a fairy tale I wanted to be in.

I closed the door and walked down the sidewalk. I got to the corner and I don’t know which way to go. The day was cold, wet, misty, and awesome I look left then right then left again and decide to go right. All I want to do right now is run, run far away, away from everyone. I knew Em wanted to get away to but I think I had to do this one on my own. Em and I have a special place downtown and I could go there for a little bit.