Is He Really Gone?

It took me a couple of hours just to process that he was back and roaming around somewhere town. After I finished my chores and I decided to go into the timber and maybe by the pond. I haven’t been there every since Taylor’s accident.

I got to the end of the timber where the dead tree that fell was laying, and I sat down just looking at the pond, thinking. If he was here he would be watching me all of the time. He would know that I ditched the wanna-bees and went to the gamers. He would know what had happened to my family and I and why I was for who I was. Was I over reacting? I hoped so, and I hoped that this wasn’t true at all.

I looked up to the sky and hoped that Grandma was looking down on our family and me. I just wasn’t designed to do this. I wanted to restart and change everything. I felt like my whole world has fallen apart. All I could do was calmly think of positive thoughts and walk.

I got to the end of the timber and I just felt dizzy like I had to sit down. I found a stump and I sat down, closing my eyes. I was just thinking that everything would be fine, but then I heard a movement in the branches. I opened my eyes quickly with a bit of a jump. I looked around as close as I could to see if anything was out there. The wind wasn’t so bad this morning but there was still a breeze. I stood up and started walking towards the house in a fast walk. I kept hearing something trying to come closer and closer. I sped up but whatever was behind me sped up too. I saw the gate to the house so I started running. I opened the gate and turned around hoping nothing was behind me. I saw nothing; I took a deep breath and walked on the front lawn to the door.

“Lenex, where have you been?” my mom asked drying her hands with a towel.

“I was in the timber,” I said out of breath.

“I tried calling you technology and screaming,” she said turning back to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to be alone for a bit,” I said taking off my shoes and standing in the doorway.

I went up stairs into my room and shut the door. I heard the telephone in the living room off, but I figured it was nothing. I sat on my bed and starting listening to Taylor Swift. I almost went to sleep but I couldn’t I was too worried. I didn’t know what he was capable of anymore. He could murder my family and me.

I kept thinking about everything bad and something took that off my mind. I heard crying and then I heard Glory come inside. I could hear Mom and her talking but I couldn’t make it out. I went to my door and opened it just enough for my body. I saw Taylor and Tsunami standing there in their doorway, just thinking about going downstairs. I nodded for them to go and see what was going on.

When they got downstairs I heard my mom telling the story and Taylor crying. Tsunami ran outside crying with slamming the door behind her. Glory went chasing her. I guessed that the neighbor called and said that they accidently ran over the cat, but this was different. No one had been this said when a pet died… maybe it was something different. I walked to the top of the staircase, my mom was sobbing at the bottom with her heads on her knees. The floor creaked and she looked up. She just said that crying and motioned me to come down there.

It was a long time before I got to the bottom; I sat down and looked at her just very weakly. She took a deep breath and she just sat there with her eyes closed tightly. She took another deep breath.

“There has been an accident… with your father,” she said while a tear fell off of her rosy cheek.

“Wha… What kind of accident?” I asked with my voice shaky.

“You know that you father worked for a construction company,” I nodded, “well… he was working in St. Maine. He was working under a truck and the truck…” she paused for a long time, more tears came down her face. “The person driving got told that he was done working, but he wasn’t and they started the truck,” as she told me the story I pictured it and I know I shouldn’t have but I had to. “Your father has now passed away.”

I stared with the mental picture in my head just sitting there. I felt tears coming to my eyes and I knew I couldn’t cry in front of her. I had to leave. I stood up and she grabbed my hand but when she touched me I had to run. I ran to door with tears streaming down my face. I slid my flip-flops on and ran out the screen door. She followed me to the front porch, but by the time she got there, the front gate swung back to the fence.

I kept running to the stream, passed the stream and into town. I needed to sit down and by the time I got to the park I was about to pass out. I was crying so much I had to wipe my eyes every two minutes. Memories, images, etc. ran through my head again and again.

There I was in the city park, staring at the moist dew ground. My eyes were streaming with tears just like the rain that was coming down just so heavy and fast moving.