Today is my Birthday

Patrick Darst is a college student that seeks more in this world than to just exist. His desires are about to get answered in a deathly way.

The more I think about it, the more meaningless life gets. Why am I here? Why do I have to do the things am supposed to do? As if someone will care about you in the end. What will I think at the very last moment of my existence? That I did all I ever wanted?... I can answer that question right now… I have no idea of what I want, nor do I have idea of what I will… Tomorrow is a mystery, one that I couldn't care less to solve… or plan…

-Patrick! Get out of the f*****g bathroom! We'll all be late!

-I'm taking a shower! F**k off!

-F*****g great!

That was my brother Elvis. And when Elvis comes raging, he isn't alone, for he's actually right, we are late.

-Patrick, for God's sake! Finish already!

-I'm almost done!

-You've got 2 minutes to get out of there!

And that's my father, John… No, I've got no mother; she died right after I was born. Her parents left to outer state to only see us occasionally and my father's parents are like part of a ghosts' story to me. My father was raised by his grandfather; he never met his mother or his father. I knew nothing more than the fact that they existed.

It gets into my mind… My mother exchanged her life so I could live. That means nothing more than the responsibility on my shoulders of being someone worthy of that sacrifice. Someone my mother would be proud of… that's a nice starting point, isn't it? Funny thing is… my mother wasted her life since the very beginning. Because of the awkward simple reason that she gave her life for a pathless son; she would have better died after my big brother, Elvis, was born. He's almost finishing college… and, just to add, with amazing grades. On the other hand there's me, starting 2nd year in college and can't get out of the verge of failure and mere success. It's just that it doesn't feel that important… It's like… is that what am I going to waste my life with? For the matter, what would I waste my life with?

What encourages me to keep walking is the hope the fact that there's something else, something bigger, something worthy of my life, of my effort to be put on, of my whole being to give for, and along with that, worthy of my mother's sacrifice… is real. I believe that fact is real, I'd bet my whole life it is real; even more than that, I count on it… And that's why I am a pathless son; all I ever do is waiting… waiting while my mother's sacrifice gets wasted… I don´t know for what… but when it comes… I will notice it.

I finish my shower and rush to my room with the towel around my waist…

-I'm done!

I yelled. Suddenly my brother dashed into the bathroom, followed by my dad.

-You better hurry, Elvis. "he said.

Dad glanced at me for a moment, and gave me "that look". Yes, "that look" that I hated so much to see, yet I was well deserved of it. And I also was so used to it.

It was just another day to throw away, just like all those that have already passed.

The Rising

Today is my Birthday

(Lubbock, Texas) That's how the Darst Family sets off for the day's duties: my dad goes to work at the outskirts; he leads the meat providing industry thanks to his lands and the quality of his breeds. My brother goes to his job at the local mall. He goes to college in the afternoon. And I go on foot to my college. There's no answer to why I like that, I just do. I am so used up to the scenery that I rather listen to music than paying more attention to the environment. As well to avoid thinking; every time I am silent those "who am I" questions pop up like a virus and I go further and further on like there was no end to my inner bullshit.

But there was something different today: There were some men working on the corner I always take on my way to college and also on my way home, no matter the route I take, I always end up taking that corner.

I took a glance at what they were doing. There was a huge and deep hole on the street. One could smell the s**t like it was right in front of you, and hear it flow like a ferocious river. It's disgusting, yet I've never heard s**t flowing like that before, so, it's something different to notice for a change… totally worth it.

One of the workers saw how close I was and yelled…

-Back off, kid! Else you'll bathe on everyone's crap!

-Wouldn't like that, -I said smiling- hope you don't either! Have a nice day…

-You too, kid!

I continued my way to college. Sadly, there was no more interesting stuff to see; as usual.

My day was a total waste. The only thing I enjoyed was being with my friends and chill, talk about nonsense and stuff until I had to go home and have dinner.

Back on the streets, at evening, on my way home I took "the corner" and saw the workers again. The hole in the street was way bigger than before. I closed in, in case there was something different to see, and one of the workers yelled:

-You, kid, have no sense at all! Do you!? Back off, for Christ's sake!

Sense, no, I have no sense. And else, what would happen at all? I could fall and drown in a river of s**t?... pfft… like I am scared of death… Like I have something to live for at a…

Suddenly, the ground below my feet collapsed. Everything and everywhere was suddenly sticky and stunk like hell… no, hell was surely better. Soon daylight died and it was as dark as if I had my eyes closed. I felt the liquid trying to get into my throat as I was being dragged further and further on through the river of s**t. I tried to swim, but the stream was too powerful, and, on top of that, every second it was getting harder for me to keep my head over the surface.

Then I was completely submerged. I felt the s**t trying to get into my mouth, my nose. It wanted to drown me, to make me part of its relentless travel through the sewers… I would become another piece of crap roaming purposeless and endlessly. Wasn't that I, already? This was just another way of doing the same thing I've been doing my whole life. It felt a good idea to just let it in and die, ending my misery in a way no one would have imagined before. But, then again, there was my hope… What about my path? What I am? This is not me, a stinky piece of crap. There's bigger stuff for me to do in this world! Even if it is just a fantasy! I won't die a piece of crap! I'll find who I am, even if I am good or bad… better, even if it's the last thing I do!

It was suddenly shining everywhere. I thought I was dead, but I couldn't breathe and I felt the strength of the stream on my body. I looked down, to the source of the shining and there was this thing coming up to me; it was some sort of giant gem. I was marveled by it, I just couldn't take my eyes from it.

As it came closer the more scared I was, it's coming up! It's coming up!... Then it was right in front of me and I couldn't think of something else, it was just there floating nor up or down, just still, in front of me. What else could I do? Well, I grabbed it. As soon as I did, it stopped shining, yet I didn't let it go.

This is amazing! I found this weird thing in the depth of the sewers! What is it? The S**t of Destiny? Will it shine again? What else does it do?... Those and more questions ran through my mind with only one way to answer them: not… dying… there.

The stone had the diameter of an American football ball, maybe a little bit thicker, and it was slightly longer. I held the gem under my arm and swam with all my might towards the surface. I used my free arm and my legs as hard as I have never ever swam before. Even though I was tired and my muscles hurt a lot, I managed to get myself to the surface. I exhaled and took the deepest breathe I have ever taken. I cleared my mind for my next step to survive.

I swam sidewards to the stream; I was aware that there was some sort of sidewalks at the sides; if I could reach one, that'd totally mean my salvation.

The gem almost slipped off a few times, but I wasn't going to let it go, not even if I myself died down there. That gem, stone, whatever it was, was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. If I was going to get out of there, I was going to do it with that stone in my backpack.

I couldn't see a thing, but I didn't stop swimming as hard as I could, until I hit my head with a wall. It hurt a lot, yet it was a victory, I grabbed the edge with my free hand and first thing I did was securing the stone out of the s**t river, then I pulled myself up afterwards. It felt so good to be on land, though I wasn't safe yet, I still had to make my way back to the hole and get the hell out of there.

I sat cross-legged on the floor and put the stone between my legs, so it wouldn't roll anywhere. I took my backpack off and made some space for the gem and put it in. Closing my backpack and having it strapped at my back was so relieving; finally that thing is safe! Now I won't have to worry about it and just think on going forward…

As I couldn't see anything, I didn't stood up in fear of tripping and falling again to the s**t river; so I just crawled forward, to the other way of the river. I kept going on and on for unrecognizable time. Just to think how fast that stream was blew my mind when trying to figure out how far I got. But I didn't stop, I kept going and going, I had to get out of there, but not for me, if it was at least something near being for me, I wouldn't have fallen in there in the first place. I had to get out of there for the gemstone. That's how am going to call it!

I never had something to live for; maybe that's why I felt so attached to this gemstone. Or maybe it was because of how it appeared for me: Right when I was facing certain doom, and not only that, right when I found a true life-goal… Self-discovery.

I was getting tired, my knees hurt like I was crawling on a nail covered floor. But I never stopped. I knew that, sooner or later, it will be worth the efforts. And it did; I heard some voices coming from the distance. And I replied.

-I'm over here!

It appears that the sewers had some curves, because I didn't saw their flashlights until they were a few meters away. They ran towards me and pulled me up to my feet. It was a group of 3 men. I couldn't be gladder to see them.

-Do you have any injuries?...

-Are you OK?

They asked while helping me get on my feet, one of them positioned himself to carry me by my arm. To which I answered…

-I'm OK… I just wished there was some soap around…

They laughed a bit.

-You are one lucky dude and a tough one indeed. We were expecting to find a corpse. You know what the probabilities of…

-Get off me!

One of them tried to take my backpack off me. The one that was talking said…

-What's wrong?

-My backpack, I'll carry it… it saved my life.

-Alright.   -Said the one who tried to take it.

Then the first one stated…

-Well, let's get out of here.

So we did, we walked our way to the hole, that was the closest exit from there. On the way I told them how I was almost drowned by the stream and its strength and how I swam to the side to find the sidewalk; pretty genius, right? I kept for myself everything related to the gemstone… everything, even its bare existence.

We didn't last a minute on the street; they took me to the Hygienic Stuff Related Facility, that's how I knew it. It was provided with a special shower capable of removing any kind of hazardous material, such as human crap and every other disgusting content the sewer river may have got.

I was taken to the shower and told to get naked… That wasn't something I felt comfortable with… but… I guess… it had to be done… The shower was gigantic compared to regular showers; it could fit 10 people inside. I pushed my clothes and shoes to a side after I put my important belongings such as wallet, house keys and cellphone in one of the backpack's outer pockets. Suddenly someone came wearing a HazMat (Hazardous Materials) suit, took the clothes and reached for my backpack that was on the floor. I was quick enough to stop him from taking the backpack.

-I want to deal with it myself, thank you.

He looked at me with confusion. Then he just left with only my clothes and shoes. I guess he hasn't got much time to waste… or maybe he just doesn't give a f**k… Two men wearing HazMat suits came in, holding gigantic brushes. They saw the backpack on the floor. One of them turned to the other…

-Call Frank back, he forgot something…

-He didn't,   -I said-   I told him to leave the backpack here.

-We cannot proceed, it is protocol…

-I've got important notes there and I can assure you the backpack is hermetic, there's nothing in it to be cleaned.

-Look, kid…

-No! You look, sir! With all due respect, I am not going to give up an entire semester of notes and important data just because it "may be dangerous"! I have put them in an expensive hermetic backpack so they are protected from rain, dirt or mud, and even s**t-rafting!

-Ok, ok shut it there. Let's just finish this.

A weird liquid began to rain in the whole room as one of them brushed me with the gigantic brush while the other one cleaned my backpack. I kept keen eye on the backpack in case they tried to open it. In the meantime I reflexed… What the hell did I just do? I am not that assertive… or at least I thought I wasn't… That's because I never had something to stand up for. This is a second opportunity, a chance to do things the right way. I'm going to make you proud mom, I'm going to become worthy of your sacrifice!

Once clean, both I and my backpack were taken out of the shower. There, a guy holding a towel and a bag greeted me.

-Here, -He said handing me the towel- get yourself dry. Your clothes and shoes were burnt. You'll put this on. -he said signaling at the plastic bag he was holding with his other hand.

Once ready, I returned the towel and was handed the bag. I changed up and in the second I was ready the guy said…

-Follow me.

So I did.

I was taken through a long hallway. There were many doors at the sides, some decorative plants and a lot of paintings, none of them similar to the one before each. We ended up stopping in front of an office. The guy accompanying me opened the door and stayed behind as I entered. He closed the door and left me alone with the man sitting behind a huge desk. He was just staring at me with serious eyes. Is he expecting me to do something? I didn't even take my backpack off, I just…

-Uhmm… Hi?

In a very low tone and with an amazing graveness he uttered…

-Don't play fool or innocent on me. Save us both that ingenuity.

What is this guy talking about? Who does he think I am?

-I… I'm not following, sir…

-You threw yourself on purpose to the sewers…

What!?

-huh?

-Yes… otherwise, why getting so close to the border? Twice, knowing the risks of falling off?

-I was just curious.

-I think the first thing I told you was to quit playing innocent…

-But I am…

-I'm not known for being patient, just to warn you, kid. You did this for the money, didn't you? I bet you are still living with your parents; maybe they even motivated you to do it, right? To then be able of suing us? May be?

This guy is f*****g going too far! Disrespecting me… disrespecting my family! Still, I must play safe, I'm starting over with my life, I don't need this s**t…

-Give me your father's phone number…

-I don't think he might be able of answering at this hour.

-Just give me the number…

I must at least try something…

-Alright, you win, my father isn't involved, I swear; it's just me, call whoever you want, but, please, let's fix this without getting my dad to know, he would kill me!

-Literally?

-Yes…

He laughed a bit then got serious before speaking.

-You aren't leaving this office until I have a word with your father.

I sighted heavily… Here it goes…

-(phone number)…

Let's see how you like calling my dead phone!

-He isn't answering, assuming you gave me your father's number… Well… you seem to be already a total loser; actually thinking such a stupid plan would work… This is what am going to do with you, just because the pity I feel for you is almost turning into anger, you'll leave my office right at the moment I finish talking, without saying a word, and get out of my facility to never come back again, also knowing that this very conversation, in which you confess everything, is being recorded, just in case you decide to go any further.

I can't believe it worked! I'm going out of here clean! F**k yeah!

After waiting a few moments, I decided that those were the last words he was referring to. I turned around slowly and advanced towards the door. Opened it and went to the hallway. Finally, some movement! My legs are killing me for just standing around so long… There, sitting on a bench was the guy who brought me to the office. I didn't say a word, neither did he. He just escorted me outside.

Once outside, I started walking without looking back. I didn't think of anything, not a single idea jumped in my mind, just total blankness. Without noticing the passing of time, I arrived home. Weird, I didn't take the corner I always take when coming home… Well, after this, I won't be surprised if I avoid it like the plague!

I took my house keys out of the backpack and opened the door. I found dad walking from one side to another trying to make a phone call.

He's trying to call me for sure. It's been hours after my usual arriving time.

-Uhmm… dad?

-Patrick! Thank God you are ok! where the hell have you been? I had your brother looking for you for hours on your college, hours! And I couldn't even reach you by phone! What do you think I bought you a phone for!? You better have a good explanation for this…

-There's an explanation…

Then I told everything to him, everything but the gemstone. I told him even the little detail of making the man in the office call my phone instead of his.

-… I gave the guy a wrong number because I didn't wanted you to hear such accusations he was making on me… I just wanted to quit disappointing you…

I was at the verge of braking… Luckily, my father stopped me before I did.

-… You aren't mad at me… are you?

He sighed, then answered:

-No, I'm not… We both had bad days, yours worse than mine, as a matter of fact. If that's all that happened, I'm glad you are ok. And if they are going to leave this matter on the mud, then so will we, no point messing with the unnecessary. I hope you learned something from this.

I was surely a disappointment for my dad, but at least he knew I wouldn't be capable of doing something he would be ashamed of.

Should I tell him about the gemstone? But, what if it belongs to someone and he makes me return it? F**k that! That thing shone and floated up to where I was! That wasn't natural, so natural laws don't apply and even less human's.

Dad patted my shoulder and ended…

-There's some dinner, serve yourself; I'm going to organize some data.

-See you later dad, thanks for your understanding.

-What else am I here for, son…

As he said that, he left to his office. My brother is studying; I guess I have an opportunity here to deal with the gemstone. I went to the laundry room and locked the door, then slowly opened the backpack. For f**k's sake! This thing smelled way better down in the sewers! I better get done with this…

I looked around and picked everything that had something to do with eliminating odors and germs. After lots of brushing and many improvised chemical mixes, I finally got the s**t odor from the gemstone. Happy for my success, I stood still for a moment just to admire the weird rock. It had a beautiful dark-red wine-like color.

Now, to find a hiding place…

My best option was somewhere in my bedroom. Dad never comes to my bedroom, plus I didn't have to worry about housemaid, we didn't have any. That's because the three of us had a common politic: Everyone deals with its own s**t, in general terms and situations. And those pesky house shores were arranged between my brother and me.

I put the gemstone in the top part of my closet. No one had to know about it, it was my treasure, my Luck Amulet. With that solved I felt sudden clarity; I have never felt so clear, so motivated, and so free. I had a quick dinner followed by a long renewing shower. Man, this is a shower… not like that disinfection shower; those guys brushing the s**t out of me… ughh, that felt like a violation. After that, I went to sleep.

All this took place at the beginning of October, exactly two months before Christmas vacations. In that time, I took extra assignments, studied harder, participated more in class… I did everything I could to gain as many points as possible. I turned from an unproductive piece of nothing to a working successful machine, the term "free time" didn't existed for me at all; I only rested when I was truly exhausted. My last resources of points were the final exams. I had never studied as hard as I did for these tests.

Finally done with this semester, I made it to the Christmas vacations. My grades would be shown in a few days, but I wasn't thinking about that; I ended the semester with an ear-to-ear smile. Though I could fail at one or two classes, what made me smile was the fact that I gave this whole months everything I could. And I was planning to do as well with the coming semesters.

F**k, these last months were a survival experience. At least I am on vacations now. Tomorrow is the first day of vacations, that only means… sweet renewing long sleep tonight.

*Image by arutos, zerochan.

Reviews

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

Wow, that's definitely a break in the mundane college cycle of parties and studying! Interesting story so far