Chapter 2

Hi I just started decided to write a book and now I need a review on these chapters.

Chapter 2

It must have been a good thirty minutes that we sat there and waited, watching the convoy as it sat in the courtyard. The soldiers sitting around smoking their cigarettes and shooting cans off of the railing.

“Hey Helleige, anything from Father about who the three people that came out of the EVA are?”

“No not yet.”

“Aegis just chill out, the enemy isn’t going to do anything that could ruin the mission.” Strider said with the most ridiculous impression of me I have ever heard.

“Alright than, Strider I want you to slip around back and see if you can find a VP of the enemy’s location. Helleige I want you to keep Ignis where he is and I want you up here with me.”

“Roger that” they said in unison as they went to their posts.

Strider had slipped around the guards and made his way to the back of the compound. My role in this Team is to cover my friends and also to give orders to the best of my judgment. I know these were my orders but I couldn’t shake this feeling that it wasn’t a good idea, sending my best friend out on his own without me covering me his back made me feel guilty and uneasy.

“Please don’t be seen.” I said to myself

“Don’t worry Aegis he won’t be seen. Plus he trusts your judgment; he knows you think for the best of the team.” Helleige said comfortingly, which made me jump at how fast she arrived and was lying beside me.

“Wow that was fast. Couldn’t stay away from me for too long eh?” I said jokingly

“Haha you know I’ll always run to cover you as fast as I can.” she said casually. I wasn’t sure if she was avoiding the gesture I made or if she just didn’t catch on.

“Anyway, any new report from Father?”

“No but Mother contacted me on the way here. She said to be careful of the man in grey.” reported Helleige

“Does she know anything about him? I hope they aren't keeping us in the dark.”

“If she did, she didn’t mention anything but….” Helleige was caught off by the sound of gun fire

It seemed like time froze. My heart sank in my chest at the sound of the gunshots. Was Strider dead? Was he okay? Can we reach him in time? All these questions raced in my head in a matter of moments.

“Aegis we have to go.” Helleige said as she grabbed my shoulder

“R-right, okay Helleige go to Ignis and get airborne I want a report of how many enemies there are. I’ll run around the opposite side and flank them.” As I gave my orders my comm starts up.

“Hello my little friends, I see that you are trying to kill Senor Garcia. Well as I am a business partner I can’t allow you to complete your little mission. If you don’t want your little friend here to be smashed to bits I would advise you to come out and surrender.”

Who was this? What happened to Strider? Was this voice the man in grey? How the hell did he manage to apprehend Strider the fastest member of C.O.R.E? The more and more questions that filled my mind made me feel super guilty. The fact that I got my friend caught made my chest hurt. I was supposed to be the leader.

“Guys don’t surrender I can handle this myself!”

I could hear Strider yelling from the comm. This made my heart sink even more. He was trying to protect us even after he had been caught. As the leader I have to make decisions for the greater good of the team, however my decisions must not conflict with my orders…… No, there is no need to even think about it. I must go save Strider!!!

“Helleige stay airborne I’m going in to kill these b******s.”

“No Aegis we’re a team; we’re going in together let’s get Strider back.” Helleige demanded

I was glad she wanted to help but I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but I didn’t have time to think I only had time to act.

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems, just tell me whether this is interesting or not.

Reviews

[Issy]

Chapter two is the same like chapter one. There is a lot of dialogue and I don't think that this is my type of fantasy. I'm more of the dragons and sword type, he he. Your writting is really good. It flows perfect and I read this in no time so well done on that. I am still a bit dissapointed that I don't know what fantasy element I'm dealing with here. I'm going to score you on the dialogue and writing, since you already know that I'm not fond of black ops stake outs etc.

[Tim Youn]

I thought that the whole "magic" and superhuman abilities part gave it a Fantasy twist too it, but if these elements aren't actually fantasy I can change it.