I Don't Know Where I Am

 

I rap on a door

but I don't know the frame

What allows for sunlight occupies figures

 of discouragement

from the hands that are attached to this

  burning and yearning need to be held

But the fear looking out at me

mocks me

for once I must have been the captor

 who does not know how I ended up here

with a heart that beats sending quivers to my

lips that must have sucked the flesh that

 my broken teeth broke into

And before I try to break down the door

 I call out a name in vain

because all I feel is so much pain

and it is draining me to the point

 that it is raining where I am

but I don't know where I am

and the faces behind that beautiful fortress

let me know that I am not wanted there

even though there is something about this place

 that tells me

I do belong there

Which shoulder do I use?

I feel like I've done this before

Toes broken on both feet

I feel like I've done this before

 I feel like I belong here

Somebody

 please talk to me

And I can't keep yelling how sorry I am

because I don't know what I'm sorry for

So as the crowd builds

 my rapping become more furious

Begging, pleading, needing someone to show

 me something other than shunning me

to the monsters outside drawing those

red hot pokers at me

able to end my struggle as soon as the man

 with the bullhorn says so

And I can't keep yelling how sorry I am

 because I am getting so tired and colder out here

because I get the message

Then I feel such a sharpness as my left shoulder

 goes into the door

causing my body to fall in the doorway

and seeing what I should have seen from the outside

the Love of those I loved once upon a time

before I started changing into...

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

What? A frog? I can identify with this tonight TT as I'm feeling so goddamn sorry for myself that it is sickening. You throw much caution to the wind here and it came out extremely sad to me...no happy ending...the message was clear :-(