"The Other Man"

"The Other Man"

“So I think we should go our separate ways,” there was a pause. “Oh here comes the waiter.”

She just stared at him. He gave the waiter his order and looked back at her. “I’ll have a steak sandwich, rare.” The waiter walked away. “So tell me once more how you came to this decision.”

“Well,” he said, “I just feel that we’re heading in different directions, all of your friends are getting married and working their lifer jobs… I just can’t commit to that right now.”

“No one is asking to get married here.”

“It’s just weird that’s all.”

“So there’s no one else?”

“Well, not yet…” He trailed off.

“Great,” she said before she downed the rest of her club soda. “Waiter!” She called over to the bar where the waiter just picked up a tray to bring to another table. 

On his way by the waiter slipped in, “Give me a moment lady.” 

A few anxious minutes went by that consisted of racing thoughts, jagged stares, and absolutely no words said to each other before the waiter returned. 

“What can I do for you, madame?” He asked her with a rude exhale. 

“Two shots of tequila and a beer.” She hesitated before she dropped in the “Please.” With the slight raise of only one eyebrow the waiter was off. 

“It’s almost as if you’re celebrating, I never thought I’d brake up with a girl and get a shot of tequila out of it.” 

She said nothing, only thought. She thought of two of her precious years swirling down the drain. She tried to think of life before him, what she was like. Happier, she thought.

The waiter came by and dropped off the two shots. Before the waiter could grab the beer she already had one down, the second shot glass hit the table at the same time as the beer, only empty. 

“Thanks,” she said out loud, as she grabbed the glass of beer, downing half of it before she released her tight grip. It was the sort of thanks directed at nobody but intended for everybody. It was a thanks to life, for being so damn great.

“Wow, I’ve never seen you drink like that.” He was feeling awkward now, she seems like a pot of potatoes on the stove, boiling over and sizzling. He wanted to leave but he had ordered food and quite frankly didn’t want to leave before eating it. “Maybe you should go, I can call you a cab.”

“Go now? We’re just getting started. I have a steak sandwich on the way!” She grabbed his cigarettes off the table and lit one up. They were on a balcony but there was no smoking allowed. With an exhale she said “You know, you’re friend Jason is a twat.”

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing, she’d never been like this. She hardly ever drank in the two years he’d known her, let alone smoked. “Well he’s… he’s�" "

“And your sister is a total b***h to me all the f*****g time. Did you know that?” 

“Well no, I... Let’s just calm down here for a second and think things over.”

“Think things over? You know what? I’m sick of thinking. All I ever do is think. I think for both of us because you’re so god damn spaced out all of the time! Maybe you need to think things over!”

He leaned back in his chair and sighed. He knew it wasn’t going to be an easy night but he could barely recognize the person across from him. He looked into her eyes as she stubbed out her cigarette on the side of the table. She was glaring at him with such fire in her eyes. Fire that he hadn’t ever seen before. He slipped out a cigarette and lit it. 

“Why is Jason a twat?” He asked her. 

“Are you serious? All he does is go to the club and hook up with skanks.” 

The waiter came rushing over, “Sir, you cannot smoke here, put that out immediately!” He rolled his eyes and put out the cigarette.

“He blows his pay check every month on over priced drinks and acts like an eighteen year old.”

“And so for that he gets twat status?”

“Do you ever actually listen to what he says? Yesterday he literally said, ‘beauty is only a light switch away.’ Do you realize how much of a d****e thing that is to say?”

“Yeah that’s pretty bad… He’s divorced though, he has no filter anymore.”

“So that makes it ok to be a d****e? How long until you start twatting it up?”

“Woa woa, I’m nothing like him. I have manners. I’m a gentleman.”

“And yet you break up with someone less than five seconds before you’re ordering yoki.”

“It’s pronounced no-chi, actually.”

“And here come the corrections. You don’t realize how often you do that too, always on my case for the pronunciation of a f****n word. Give me a break already.” She grabbed another cigarette and lit up.

He didn’t know what to say. The truth of it all was he kind of liked this version of her. She was becoming a no bullshit kind of person. When they first started dating he quickly realized he was able to get away with a lot more than her, and he took swift advantage of that. Now it almost seems like it’s evened out. He even wondered what a future would be like for this new couple. Here’s this girl that he thought he knew sitting across from him, smoking a cigarette, cussing up a storm, eyes burning a fire that he hadn’t ever noticed. He’d never been so attracted to her.

“So now you’re thinking. All it took was the end.”

“I’ve just never seen this passion in you.”

The waiter came with their dishes and dropped the pasta in front of him. He turned to her, still smoking and his eyes darted to her cigarette and back. A quick wink flashed in his eye as he put down the steak sandwich with a smile, “Enjoy.”

As she cut up her steak she thought about the waiter and how she was now free to pursue other men. She wondered what other men were like now, as if two years out of the game really changed anything.

They were silent as they ate except an order for another beer. He watched her as she switched from hate and daggers towards himself to warm and flirty to the waiter. It was a typical case of wanting it now that he can’t have it but he decided to try anyways. What did he have to lose? They’re already done.

“So what if things were to change? I can talk to my sister, I’ll stop correcting you and I can toss Jason like a frisbee.” Wow, that sounded desperate, he thought. “It’s just, I didn’t know you felt any of this.” 

“Well, now you do," she said. "It’s really nice of you to say you’ll change now, after you dumped me, now that you’re suddenly interested in me again. You’re being a twat.”

He just stared. How did this get here? Talk about spiralling out of control. He didn’t know what to do. He’d never been called a twat before, by a girl at least. 

“So that’s that then, I guess I’ll get going.” His plate wasn’t done, he’d hardly touched his gnocchi. He reached for his cigarettes but she snatched them off the table before he could get them. 

“I’m taking these,” she said. 

The waiter was coming over as he stood up but he wasn’t wearing his uniform anymore, he was in plain clothes. “You can pay at the bar,” he said to him. “I’m off now.” He looked at the beautiful fiery lady sitting down next to him and asked her, “Do you mind if I sit?”

She looked at both the men as she lit up another cigarette and smiled at the new man. “Of course.”

He sat down smiling and asked “May I?” He pointed towards the box of cigarettes. 

As the other man walked toward the bar to pay he heard his now ex-girlfriend laugh such a pleasant laugh it was hard to recall she was so cold to him. They were both chuckling, enjoying their evening like they had started it together. He walked back into the restaurant and out the door with only the sound of sickening laughter in his ears, and thoughts racing around his head. He didn’t know what was worse, the terrible mix of emotions for that woman or the fact that he hardly ate his meal. 

Author's Note

Comments on everything are appreciated.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

Looks like a demonstration/exposition of character through conflict, or at least stress. Good idea.
I see him as a shallow and weak. I see her as submerged until he dumps her at which time she drops the veil to show herself truly, perhaps truly. Maybe.

It isn't subtly done. More time in the writing and less drama might be of benefit.

You know about the spelling, grammer etc. or said you did. Why not fix it?

[TS Zachary]

Hey thanks for the review.
I started writing again and needed to post this before I could convince myself not to.
I'll be back to fix it tomorrow hopefully.
By less drama do you mean dialogue?
Thanks again.

[Delmar Cooper]

It seemed to me that you used too many examples to illustrate your point. Of course I'm assuming your point is character illustration. I get the point he is a total prick. I was convinced when he ordered first, convinced by how he dumped her, his corrections, his "not yet" comment. I didn't need a ton of bricks piled on me to be convinced. That was what I meant by lack of being subtile, excess dramatic example. But, it's your story. Write it your way.

[Delmar Cooper]

I read this three months ago and commented at that time. Mark Twain told a story about a young man who left home at eighteen because the old man was so damn stupid. The young man returned at age twenty-one and was amazed at how much the old man had learned in three years.

This reading of the story made me feel like that callow young man. Has the story grown on me or have you edited it? Whatever the cause I like it much better. It isn't perfect but it is damn good overall.

Bottom line: In three months one of us has learned something.