Bones

I don't really know what it's about, I wrote it in a haze

I ate my thrust of Bones and guts
And bleed for my feed of meats
Givens and musts
Which cheat the trust
Cowering under towering feats of lust
A soaring pile of husks
Lucid rancid tempered rust
Tastes ugly in the gust of trust
It's rotted and fettid in my gorge
Chasing and tracing the glare.
Enrolled on a scourge of whelps and winnies
Which break the air both fat and skinny
They tear the pair of selfish committees
From undulating undue pity

Reviews

[Greg Gorman]

Good rhythm to this. I like the flow. It's okay if you're not sure where this is going. Maybe it's something you could go back to later on and pick at it. Maybe try to isolate two or three lines and flesh it out. You could have yourself another poem or a story. Where were you mentally when you wrote this? Was there something in particular on your mind? I like the rhyme scheme. Not sure what you are describing but that's alright. You said you were in a haze when you wrote this. You probably had a lot of things running through your head when you wrote this. There could be two or three scenarios, stories, a lot of different thoughts when you were writing this.

[duff]

Primal poetry. Guts and glory indeed.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is poetry my friend.
"Givens and musts
Which cheat the trust
Cowering under towering feats of lust"
I liked the above lines. Hard, cold and true. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[VelvetPotato]

There are a lot of famous writers and musicians who have said they don't remember writing a song, or album, and sometimes it is their best work. I really, really enjoyed this poem. I read it several times, trying to figure it out. I didn't quite get there, but I think the unconscious mind can say a lot, and this piece is incredibly interesting. I picture a barren desert, on fire, with primordial people competing to stay alive, kind of "Mad Max" -esque. I especially liked the line, "Cowering under towering feats of lust." Great stuff!!

[T.S. Ulmus]

I've read it at least a hundred times trying to figure it out. I'm glad it was worth your eyes. And I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you very much for the read and review.

[Lorry]

I hear this being shouted out, to an audience, nodding at the feeling while recognising the primal feeling of rage, grumbling from within themselves, resonating the feeling that thoughts scream our anger in reflection of the darkness being added to daily by enforced confinement and only now truly knowing the freedom that was once in our grasp.
But then again, isn't everything a reminder of this and these strange times? You could probably write a piece about a fluffy kitty, called Mr Flumkins and I'd still no doubt think it's about the new C bomb, covid.
My mind is jealous of your minds unique slant on life and writing. It's like the tutti frutti sherbert explosion, to my vanilla 😊

[T.S. Ulmus]

Thank you for the kind words and praise. Are you going to use the "mr flumpkins" thing? Seems like a great prompt. Not that I need another poem to work on right now, my table is full.

[Lorry]

Please feel free 😊

[Nomo]

I enjoy your poem, underlying emotions beneath a few verses while you portray only a couple

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Had my fill of being burned, with cheat and trust.
Tempered rust can be quite rancid.
I went through enough relationships that rotted the feeling of trust I once could have.
And I have been selfish enough now...looking out for my heart.
I hear you on writing something and not being sure what it is. Sometimes it takes me a week to come to some conclusion on something I wrote.
I just look at it after I write it and say "What the hell is this?"
j.

[T.S. Ulmus]

I very much appreciate the words of a fellow poet, to birth a thing and know nothing of it might be an experience only a creative can understand.

[♔ CrownedDevil &#..]

I think we all have a odd moments where we get ideas from and just writing it down as it’s flowing. This is an oddly good poem, I like the weirdness within it.

[T.S. Ulmus]

It turns out I have weirdness in spades, putting out something that's palatable is the hard part. I do appreciate you read and review.

[Haley]

What a spectacular twisting of words. It's such an interesting read and keeps you hanging on every word. Wonderful rhyme and flow as well! Really great job! :)

[Kaylor Mason]

This is a wonderful kaleidoscope of images and sounds, and the words flow together really well. It sounds as if your mind was going all over. Nice work. :)