The peach

Okay, the metaphors kind of shallow

I dove into the sweetest peach
Surprised that it was in my reach
The furry skin met my face
Soft flesh and smooth as lace
My fervor was religious
So juicy and Delicious
I slurped and I lapped
My endurance nearly sapped
I found the nub of a core
Through many moans I implored
To passionately rub
And suck that nub
While juice dripped down my chin
It felt like such a sin
I didn't want to finish
My passion wouldn't diminish
Just wish it could last forever
My peach eating endeavor
But I supped and I sucked
Til' it was kissed and it was plucked
When my sweet peach had nothing left
I fell down in a heft

Reviews

[Amber Stone]

master piece, T.S.! sincerely, Amber.

[SavannahKay]

Good thing you reminded the reader that the poem was about innocent peach eating twice at the end - I'd almost forgotten what the stated topic was and instead was going down a gutter lane!

Amazing imagery and descriptions - the peach was firmly in my imagination ;-)

[Nix is typing...]

Wow...I've never heard such a... sensual way of eating a peach, lmao. I've never really thought about eating a peach the way that you described it, living in the Peach State after all. I think I might take peaches for granted, lol. This was a really descriptive, amazing poem. No surprise there! 😁

100/100

Nix ❤️

[Kelly Scheppers]

Some peaches have all the luck! Much enjoyed this delectable piece.

[alanwgraham]

Great fun TS. You just have to follow the juice with this. I wish I could lick my chin.
Well done for this juicy peach of a poem.
All the best.
Alan

[Einstein Noodle]

well ... delicious pop into me nog right away .. peach seems the perfect analogy says i .. its very difficult to "dive" into one without all that juice, flavor and scent running down one's chin ... i don't know .. not so shallow says i .. such intimacy can be a very sacred thing .. which your poem does allude to .. but overall i think your poem is fun, light hearted and ....delicious ... i like the rhyme ...it works .. i think in the closing line .. "heft" is too much of a stretch .. unless it has some street meaning i am ignorant of ... ..how about bereft .. or cleft ..or deft?? just some thoughts .. fun .. exciting, sensuous without being rude and fun read for me ... eating peaches has just changed forever ;)
E.

[T.S. Ulmus]

Thank you for the constructive criticism, I'm giving serious thought to changing the last two lines. "When my sweet peach had nothing more", and a thousand things rhyme with "more", but nothing I've come up with has really grabbed me. Collab credits if you toss me something good.

[Einstein Noodle]

well ...how about "I fell back all blind dumb and deaf" ;)

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful poem. Interesting lines

[barleygirl]

WOW! I've never wanted to be a peach so much in my whole life *wink! wink!* Nicely succulent & I love the way you crank it into a subtly-building crescendo (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[T.S. Ulmus]

You'll always be my peach Margie. They say the sweetest peaches come from the more seasoned trees. Nah I just made that up but it's a good line.

[Chris Shaw]

Tasty, tasty Very very tasty. You have just added peaches to my shopping list. Positively drooling now :) Peaches are a sensual metaphor.

Chris

[John the Baptist]

I'm going to have to get more seriously into peaches. It sounds like a really cheap date.