The cure

The Cure

Have you ever had a thought?

Iwannadieornot (lifegasmisumab)

May be for you. (Image of two people in a field as their hands slowly drift apart) Tell your doctor if you have pre-existing conditions like

Feelings

Adequate blood flow

Stress

Or if you lose consciousness for several hours a night.

Side effects may include:

Exploding eyeballs

Frequent explosive bloody diarrhea

Demonic possession

A rabid flesh eating bacteria may persist

and be resistant to all known healthcare.

Horrific pain may follow treatment

followed by more continuous horrific pain

It is not intended for women who are pregnant,

may become pregnant,

ever thought of being pregnant,

met a pregnant person,

or can spell the word "pregnant".

If you can point out on the doll where the boy scout leader touched you,

certain discounts may be available.

Reviews

[Diana]

This almost seems like a parody on those medication commercials where they state the horrific side effects extremely quickly. Maybe it's a testament to my macabre sense of humor, but I definitely find this humorous.

[Chris Shaw]

You know I smiled at this TS. The humour really came through. I think you could do stand up comedy and do it well :)

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

oh god, this is funny in a morbid way.

All those damn commercials for medicines and then 4 minutes of side-effects.

the best is "if you are allergic to it, don't take it"
Well bless my soul...how the hell can I know if I am allergic to it before taking it?
very creative piece taking an ordinary, aggravating occurrence and making it quite humorous.

you are so talented.
j.

[Jess]

This is a very creative way of sharing your ideas on the subject matter. I feel very similarly to your piece with regards to ads for prescription drugs. A pleasure to read and much to digest with this one.

[barleygirl]

This is inventive writing times ten & your cerebral ramblings overswing my own feeble ability to field abstract concepts by a mile. I have aspired to be less linear & literal after 30+ years of technical writing, but I could never aspire to be this loosey-goosey in how I slap ideas together. I kinda envy you the ability to let go of the moorings, but still keeping sight of reality here & there along the way. This reminds me of how some people are so gullible about everything they hear, with regard to health concerns, seemingly over-consuming & sharing incessantly what we all need to do to stay alive (assuming that's the goal here). Otherwise than that inventive line of crap from yours truly, I really don't have a clue what you're getting at here (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[T.S. Ulmus]

Oh, of course you don't know what it's about, there's a thing called television and on it there are commercials for medications but at the end of the commercial there is a long list of disclaimers and side effects. This is a satirical riff on that. I feel kind of dumb for the read request from you now.

[barleygirl]

After not having TV for most of my young life, when I first subscribed to cable, I was aghast at the sheer number of ads for prescription drugs. I thought it really bizarre to be peddling drugs on TV, like I'd just landed here on a spaceship. But yeah, I see your intent now. Please never feel dumb (I intend to dominate my position as dumbfuck of the century) . . . I read you cuz I love to read you, not becuz you RR. The way your perspective is a million miles from my own is half the fascination for me.

[Davidgeo]

You have the creative thing going... well done.