"let me hit that"

It's my best shot at a Christmas offering

"I once stole a baby Jesus
from a nativity set
and made it into a bong"
I said to my boss
who I'd barely met.
"No, no, no,
I was really drunk when I stole it
really high when I made the bong"
Possibly I was wrong
to think that would sound better
I called it "El nino"
Friends at the Christmas party loved it
"That's terrible...
let me hit that"

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

You know we have probably all done daft things at one time or the other under the influence of something or maybe even someone. Your honesty here cracked me up. I would have kept my mouth shut :) Still, your boss may have appreciated that total disclosure to a stranger :) A snippet from life which made me smile TS.

Chris

[Just Kim]

Wow, powerful read.. ugly but yet funny in a way.

[Lorry]

Who wouldn't want to just tell the truth to bosses and others, that would maybe ask them not to ask such stupid questions, like why did you do it?
Maybe they should be asking why people are getting wasted at work and fix their own s**t before questioning others, but I am in a biased minority of billions that know the curse of a terrible job and worst boss.
I'm guessing the promotion wasn't forthcoming 😁

[T.S. Ulmus]

It's a true story, but I wrote the poem first and then told my boss because I wanted to be honest in my art. He was totally nonplussed. I was actually hoping for more of a reaction out of him, would have been a great addition to the poem. Thanks for the read and the review though.

[Delmar Cooper]

I suppose I'm getting old. My first reaction was "Sacrilege!" Shame on me. This from the same fellow who once knew ten or fifteen verses to "Plastic Jesus." Said verses far off center from what Paul Newman or Billy Idol ever sang. So, let me simply say interesting. An interesting poem you have there.

[barleygirl]

This must be one of the more messy but creative, ugly but funny, sacrilegious assaults I've seen on the holiness of Christmas, & that's why your funky foulness appeals to me so much. You give me courage to blow off all my high-and-mighty bible-thumping friends so I can take this holiday season to a whole new low, into the depths of tawdry spoof. There's something very evil & twisted about sucking smoke thru baby Jesus's butthole. I mean, just picture it. I knew you weren't squeaky clean, but I thought Nebraska was part of the bible belt?!?! *wink! wink!* Thank you for giving my holiday writing a whole new boost of possibilities! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[T.S. Ulmus]

As if you need a boost towards creativity. Thank you so much for the read, your words are always appreciated. I wish I had a quarter of your word sense or thoughts, working on three poems now that are mostly garbage. Much love.