Junkie

Waiting on my phone to ring

Feeling like one of Pavlov’s dogs

Your voice is the opium

My mind is itching for

And something will get broken

If I don’t get my fix

Who are you to have awoken

A feeling such as this?

You’re the drug I need to wean me off -

The drug I want the most;

Still no ring, this blasted phone

Is silent as a post…

 

Suddenly it beams at me

And shakes with ecstasy

And sings out notes of joy

As it lights up as with a smile…

I let it ring for a second or two

So that you won’t know

How much I’ve been waiting for this;

Pacing and biting my nails…

The deep breath I take before I answer

Is the tourniquet beneath my rolled-up sleeve

I close my eyes, and press the button -

The plunger that releases you into my veins….

 

And I am in heaven…

For a little while…

Reviews

[Brook]

I got a read request for this probably around the time you wrote it (two years ago) but alas, here I am, late as ever!

It's a shame nobody else has reviewed this. It's really quite a gem. I love your rhymes and metaphors and just all of it flows together and connects and though the drug metaphor has certainly been used before by other people, it's not cliche or overdone. I especially like the lines, "And something will get broken / If I don't get my fix / Who are you to have awoken / A feeling such as this?" It has almost an accusing tone, certainly sounds like something an addict might say to their drug in a moment of clarity.

In the second stanza the sense of flow was a bit interrupted by the lines "So that you won't know / How much I've been waiting for this; / Pacing and biting my nails..." I'd like to see more rhymes and rhythm, which could be done by changing some word choices around.

Great conclusion! Definitely gives that sense of build-up and then release (especially since you chose the word "release" for the last line of the second stanza).

Overall, very nice!