We, the Undertakers

We write this open letter

To reaffirm our support for the Government

People say things could be better

The media deplore and lament

They say that things are terrible

And that change needs to come quicker -

But we, the undertakers,

Politely beg to differ.

 

Business is at an all-time high

Recession’s a word we’ve never heard

Indeed, we’ve been forced - by demand - to buy

More land to use for graveyards

They say the economy is failing

They speak of long unemployment lines

But we, the undertakers

Think the economy’s just fine.

 

They say the roads are death-traps

And revenue discrepancies

Lead to Health Department budget cuts

Lowering life expectancy

They call for fresh Elections

They say the work you do is shoddy

But we, the undertakers

Will vote for you in a body.

 

But we like nothing better

Than when you go to war

We support you, no matter

What you are fighting for.

They say that you are Murderers,

That you should face a jury -

But we, the undertakers,

Just shrug, and sigh, and bury.

 

So, despite their demonstrations

And all that the waving placards are saying

We, and the necromancers

Really cannot complain.

So in appreciation, dear Minister

When the horse of life you must dismount,

We, the undertakers

Shall give a very good discount…