Spires of science

There was to be a tomorrow for us to share, but we ate it yesterday: greedily and with cream. I remember your face lit by the candlelight, so hungry for rebellion -- only as we swallowed the last morsels did we realise that hunger would have its revenge, a consequence of today's emptiness. Guilt sits heavy in our stomachs as we dream of the spaceships that have not been built, the spires of Science that we cannot contemplate while dreaming of technological emancipation. I held your hand and there was an old spoon still curled within it, I kissed your mouth and our promises still curdled in it. We could have had years together to watch progress unfold, but instead we burned through our possibilities with reckless passion, and its embers now grow cold.

Reviews

[Ben Walker]

Hey TLK - hope you've been keeping well. What a fantastic piece. "the spires of Science that we cannot contemplate while dreaming of technological emancipation" - the word awesome has never been so appropriate.
I'm sat here in the dark watching Fight Club and this really sent my mind off on one and I'm quite enjoying where it's ended up.

[JE Falcon]

Ah, the endless story of youth. Well said in your own way.

[Rosie Greens]

I think this poem has great potential. I think breaking the poem into smaller lines would emphasize parts of the poem better. It may even enhance the beat that reading the poem has.

[matt black]

Very nice imagery, brings out the e in motion - thanx

[solsystemtillnervsystem]

Oh, this is beautiful. In particular I like the imagery presented in the very first line--a lovely example of good poetry. I like the way you format it, too, all in a chunk. I haven't actually seen poetry like this before, but I really like it. Good stuff!

[Robin Saxon]

Interesting piece, could be a metaphor for how we treat the environment.
Here today, gone tomorrow.

[Bonnie Paige]

A poem that makes a great point. Like the beautiful rose that is picked and no longer attended by the sun . Of fast pass world makes us act before we think. The end comes swiftly.

[Pencil2Pad]

"We could have had years together to watch progress unfold, but instead we burned through our possibilities with reckless passion, and its embers now grow cold"....

A very powerful line that I feel many can relate to. People often are conflicted with the decision to allow their impulses take control with the risk of pain for the future or the decision to allow careful planning and etc to take control with the risk of never truly being in the moment of life.

[RavenwoodValley]

Wow, this is really poignant. Thank you for sharing this.

[kitish]

Beautiful. I am at a loss of how to review this because I'm still caught by the imagery, snagged by the vivid I can almost reach out and touch it feel to this poem. It ensnares the senses. Again, simply beautiful.

[E. R. Patient]

Interesting format for a poem, but it is definitely poetic, so I can see why you would label it as such. I love the metaphors you used, especially saying that the promises had curdled. Is this about two people, or meant to generalize parts of society? Just curious.