hands at ears hair splayed screaming

hands at ears hair splayed screaming

A Chapter by TLK

hands at ears hair splayed screaming

 

hands at ears hair splayed screaming
the baby copying her tears snot streaming
is how I remember her always have always will
gripped with need for some small pill
or syringe or---

I'm holding her mother's hand, and -- lying --
Say that I loved her more as she was dying.
Ignoring the cause, ignoring my guilt
Boarding up the windows with the view I built.
We're crazy paving, joined together.
Hands all linked in forgetting whether
We were the cause of the start, the end,
Or the middle, where she showed that she would tend--
Maybe our actions sped her up, catalysed?
We do not ask.
                Our mouths all lie that we are surprised.

---she is pregnant hands encircling
rich and fertile with a hidden promise
boy or girl?
We know now so
we celebrate
even though we had made a promise not to
was that the start?

The hardest question comes last,
At last,
"Will the baby remember her past?
Yes, I say, from far away,
We'll say a prayer on Mother's day.
There will be a picture (blown-up huge), I'll ask who's that?
She'll look up brightly from her activity mat--

I float away, mouth using persuasive platitudes,
Telling them she will know her mother's multitudes,
Wondering whether my memories can be falsified.
Wondering whether I will remember that I lied.

--I'm holding her mother's hand, and - lying -
Say that I love her most now she is dead.
I have fooled her, she looks down, sighing,
But her father's red-rimmed eyes hold steady on my head.



© 2013 TLK


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Featured Review

Completely blown away by this. The story is so real, the use of flow, language, alliteration , rhyme and repetition build it up into this enormously accomplished poem. None of these elements stick out awkwardly,they just sit so well. Easily publish-able I'd say.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

11 Years Ago

I don't know where this came from -- I tend to avoid rhyme (and, nowadays, I tend to write prose poe.. read more



Reviews

Great flow and nice rhyme scheme.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

11 Years Ago

Yes, I rhyme very rarely, so I am happy that this one reads OK.
Completely blown away by this. The story is so real, the use of flow, language, alliteration , rhyme and repetition build it up into this enormously accomplished poem. None of these elements stick out awkwardly,they just sit so well. Easily publish-able I'd say.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

TLK

11 Years Ago

I don't know where this came from -- I tend to avoid rhyme (and, nowadays, I tend to write prose poe.. read more
I love the use of alliteration to create a quick rhythm for the piece. Very interesting

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

11 Years Ago

I think the rhythm is supposed to mirror the speaker's wish: he wants this horrible ticking-clock pa.. read more
Intense. A good poem. Nice work.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


TLK

12 Years Ago

Thank you for noticing the intensity. It's why I wrote i t.
I loved this piece. It had that burning intensity that I enjoyed. I am speechless. I loved the power and I loved the flow. It was a great piece. Thank you for sharing.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

12 Years Ago

I think this is the most intense thing I wrote. I really felt the scene when I wrote this. I almost .. read more
TLK

12 Years Ago

"I think this is the most intense thing I've written so far," I mean.
Angie Diane♥♥

12 Years Ago

That's always a good thing in poetry. :3
I loved it!
Oh, boy!
Can I see this performed, please?

The intensity and flow of this is something fiery and real.
And, the style it's written in is grand.

Love it!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Elephants & Coyotes

12 Years Ago

Understandable - this coming from an actress, however.
MAKE IT HAPPEN.

I was real.. read more
TLK

12 Years Ago

Another problem: I don't have any beatnik attire.
Elephants & Coyotes

12 Years Ago

Haha then I'll let it slide, this time.
I am in awe.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

TLK

12 Years Ago

I'd be happier if I was able to use different kinds of dash (http://csswizardry.com/2010/01/the-thre.. read more

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926 Views
8 Reviews
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Shelved in 5 Libraries
Added on August 6, 2012
Last Updated on April 14, 2013
Tags: untruths
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Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



About
Signed up to the Pledge to Civil Conduct in Discourse on Writer's Cafe: please challenge me if you think I am breaking either the letter or the spirit of the rules. I try to review well myself (see.. more..

Writing
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