Prologue

Prologue

 

"Quiet woman! Do not push me any further or you will regret it!" Sarrsus paced circles around an old woman sitting cross-legged on the dirt floor.

           

Her palms rested lightly on her knees. Every muscle relaxed and refused to be intimidated. Her insight psychic ability let the words flow through her. "Yes, regret…You have buried it so far down…You have forgotten...where you come from, who you are."

           

Sarrsus’ ice blue eyes flared as a primitive roar ripped from his throat and bounced off the musty rock walls around them. An invisible energy wall hit the woman and threw her across the open space, impacting her against the stone wall. Her head throbbed as she struggled to return the air purged forcefully from her lungs. Sarrsus charged towards her. “Woman, you value your life lightly!"

           

The woman looked up to the flustered face hovering over her, trying to imply dominancy. She remained calm. Wiping away a trickle of blood from her nose, she smiled warmly at him. “Please, I told you…call me Castella."

           

Sarrsus' teeth clenched as his fist hit the wall. Shards of stone rain down on Castella. "Samantha values your life and for that I will let you live but if you continue to irritate me...I might change my mind."

           

"I'm sorry to...irritate you. I shall remain quiet if you would please answer one question."

           

He huffed a flustered sigh. "What is it?"

           

"Do you remember the youth of your life?"

           

The vivid ice blue eyes now squinted at her. A low growl resonated in his throat as he turned on his heels and stomped away.

           

Under her breath, Castella muttered. “That’s what I thought...a lost soul but not a lost cause...yet. There is still hope for the future."

Author's Note

Following 'A Hunters Evolution' from the 'Forever Hunting Series'

Reviews

[.quan.011.]

Why haven't written more? This is awesome. I can't wait for you to add more so do it already.

[TKBickel]

*Poof* and a genie grants a wish.

[.quan.011.]

Go review the first chapter of Imperfect Victims

[Just Me]

Come on! Only a little bit! I must be informed as soon as more chapters are added! This is just too good to miss out on! I love bad guys!

[Madelyn Defray]

Oh prologues! Most people skim over them but I am a huge fan of prologues... Most of my stories have them (though only one is posted so far, haha).

-cough- anyway, I really like your character Castella and her foreboding talent of psychic ability. Youi can really sense her character through the dialogue- in the way she speaks. Your second character however seems a bit, I don't know, awkwardy written. I couldn't take his anger seriously for some reason. Maybe because of your diction use for instance "stomped" is a childish action therefore I related him to being a childish character hense forth I couldn't take him seriously.

You have a few minor errors concerning tense and spelling as well as use of repetitive diction. Tense wise you switch between active voice and passive with no transition. You have what I can only assume to be a few typos such as "stopping" int he first line. And well back to stomping I guess- you use it more than once in paragraphs too close together as well as "growl". These words can come across as repetitive when placed so closely together so you might want to try using a thesaurus.

Over all it was a very nice read and I hope to see some chapters!

[TKBickel]

Thank you for your comments. I can’t change problem areas if I don’t know about them. I am a horrible editor.
Jumping into the story, the childish action shows how much she has whittled him down. The first story gives more insight on these characters.
I’ve removed one stomp but I only had growl once. Please, it would help out if you can be more precise or point out the sentences with problem areas.
Thanks again for taking time to read this.

[Madelyn Defray]

Alright so in the second paragraph first line you speak of her palms in an active voice but throughout the rest of the passage it becomes pass tense. Sorry for the growl... I could have sworn there was another but I must have been going slightly crazy. I also would like to say I thought about the childish persona being a result of all that is happened but it would have probably been better for me to have known him before this point. Don't get me wrong and I hope my comments don't offend you. I really do like what you have so far and was only trying to be helpful. :) Honestly take a look at my work- I'm not perfect either lol

[TKBickel]

To me that’s no offending that is helping. Thanks for being precise. Hopefully, I have that fixed now.

[EMF]

You are going to cost me a fortune by the time this series is finished. Yep. Already here and waiting for the next morsel

[Shep]

That's it? Just a small nibble. You bet I will be back.

[TKBickel]

Big things have small beginnings;)

[EMF]

That's it. Got em hooked. And how good a ride it is.

[Shep]

Still no new chapters.

[TKBickel]

Hang in there-I'm writting. It's just in a mess right now.