Female Monologue: Love Potential

A female lead monologue that last about 3 minutes. Our character is a high school girl who just got braces! With prom around the corner, our teen creates a Love Potion to help her get a date!

Title: Love Potential 3 Minutes

[Sydney on stage holding a small bottle. She speaks with a thick 'new braces' speech impediment /I imagined a little like Sylvester the Cat who chases Tweety Bird around in Looney Tunes cartoons/. She is a bit tomboy-ish, unpopular, and unkempt.]

*raises bottle*

"Yesss, Yesss, Yessssss

I, Sydney Lunderson, have crafted a wonderful love potion! With this, I’ll have my pick of the crop at my high school! And these BLASTED BRACES won’t get in the way! Psssh! That stupid, Penelope Princeton, and her perfect smile! Anyway, forget about her! Who should I use this on… Should have probably thought of that first! 

Maybe Keith, Captain of the Football Team. He’s strong and muscular! Not only will he fall ever so deeply in love with me, Kenith’s brain is so simple that I could mold him into the perfect boyfriend! And he could protect me from the mean popular girls. I’ll tell him to aim a throw right at Penelope’s head! Heheheh. That’ll show her!" 

*does a football throw and runs around with touchdown arms* 

*looks at arm muscles and flexes*

"He's an exercise maniac. He’d probably want to EXERCISE TOGETHER and UGH, that sounds like TOO MUCH WORK.

Maybe Bill, the Class President. He’s so elegant and dignified. He’s a leader and a great listener. He’s so smart and could help me study and get better grades than that teachers’ pet, Penelope. He also cares about appearances so I wouldn’t have to worry about him looking like a pig’s trough like the other high school boys. Plus, as an added bonus, he always smells so good…."

*Sniffs arms, gets a whiff of armpits*

*sniffs pits* 

"But then that would mean keeping up on MY APPEARANCES which…"

*looks into invisible mirror towards audience*

"I don’t look bad..just a bit of…"

*fixes hair a little*

"UGH NO.

Maybe Luis, he’s such a bad boy with his leather jacket and motorcycle. This potion could be especially effective on him as he may already have eyes for me. As noted on Diary Date, “February 13th” he told me I “..look like a snack..”. Hehe. Then he accepted my chocolate box before Penelope’s. I got to school an hour early, and waited by the front door. I should have calculated that he always gets to class late, but IN YOUR FACE, PENELOPE! An hour of detention was worth it for that victory! Hmm… look like a snack?"

*Ponders*

"UGH. Hopefully he’s not a cannibal. That’d ruin his WHOLE vibe." 

*Phone Rings* /I used my hand to be the phone/

"Hello?

Oh Hi, Finn.

What? You want to ask me something? Yeah, I know we’ve been friends a long time. 

I’m doing something important right now. Yeah, you’re important to me too. 

Can’t it wait until school tomorrow? Dude, prom’s coming up, get your head in game! Yeah, tomorrow we can talk for sure! 

Man, he’s so sweet but he’s such a Nervous Nancy! That loser is probably going to ask ME to ask someone FOR HIM. He’s got to just go for it. 

Now, to put this potion into these three muffins."  

-Scene- 

Author's Note

I never wrote a monologue before, but hopefully this gives an okay description of what to say and do. I used this during an Open Mic night and they loved it! I encourage you to use it (I would love to see it performed and posted on like, youtube or something! Send a link!) or use it as inspiration to get your creative juices flowing! Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!