Something's Gonna Give! By T. Pina

A poem about broken relationships

We are two very strong headed, unchangeable persons, always clashing with each other in life!

We have both caused so much pain and heartless strife.

We're guilty of holding back each other from progressing on the roads of life.

Yet one thing's sure, in all this turmoil we call a releationship, that seems to always find it's way through our door.

The truth is, that's something's gonna give, we can't endure much more;

 

I truly loathed you for oh so long, yet for the kid's sake I keep quiet and tried to hold on!

Our years together felt like a prison sentence that would never end,

A thousand years of hell that help could never mend.

We can't keep living tit for tat, hoping to survive on a premise false as that.

 

We were never each other's soul mate, that was quite clear from our turbulent start.

 That shouldn't have been a reason, to break each others hearts.

If we don't stop playing these games, hurting with all this pain,

then something's just gonna give, if not we'll both go insane;

 

Didn't my hurtful words, I could never hold back, always cut you down?

 The times you stabed me through my heart with your infidelity,

didn't I patch myself up and try to stay around?

 

I'm not threatening you, hell  I would never do that.

 In all this misery, I'm just stating a true fact.

If we don't turn oursevles around and stop this destructive course,

then all that we sacraficed for will crash and burn.

It will do so with no remorse.

 

Because in the end something's gonna give, mark my words with that;

 Sad to say, like a bridge structurally damage under constant heavy stress;

Something's gonna give, it just alway's does!

Author's Note

The relationship from hell, that we all seemed to have gone through in life!

Reviews

[Rain]

I really like this. I liked the rhyme scheme. My only advice, and it's not a big thing, but if you broke your sentences down, where each one was app the same length. Example..
don't stop playing these games, hurting with all this pain,
then something's just gonna give, if not we'll both go insane;

don't stop playing these games
hurting with all this pain
then something's just gonna give
if not we'll both go insane

Those are just personal preferences, but I think it looks cleaner. Great piece.

[Teenage poet]

Thank you for that comment.

And you have quite a talent yourself.
Much better than myself.
I hope to see your works in a book someday.
If that is your dream to be.

[TamiViolet]

You certainly have captured the anguish of a broken relationship, Tim, for theme is outstanding in this piece. Two hearts, always clashing... hurtful words... The end result being regret. I truly believe the answer is to love oneself, for it is only then that these types of relationships are diminished.

Yes indeed, something must give, and it is usually the end. Head out the door...run, don't walk...
Quite the inspiring write, my dear.

XXX

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

This reads more like a journal entry than a poem, but I loved it! Full of emotion and power, made me think. I have been through relationships just like that, that's why I don't like them, because they are too much stress and work! hee hee.

good job.

kena

[Helen Woodward]

This is a good effort for your first poem. It would however benefit from a revision and edit. I would advise you to shorten the length of sentences and check for typos. The content is spot on re; the destruction caused by toxic relationships, people shredding each other to pieces...I would rather live in a pigpen than live like that! Very well expressed...do the revision, it is well worth the small amount of work it would take.
Cheers,
Helen :-))))

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very well written poem. Nice job. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Hannah!]

I love the way this reads out loud. It makes me want to go to a poetry slam. There were times when the rhymes were a bit off, and the word choice could have been better thought through--and there were times when I thought you could have broken off a line, but kept going, making them a bit longish and throwing off the rhythm. Overall, though, this is a really good poem, with a very powerful message. Great write!

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

love the last line... for your first poem - this is a really good piece... enjoyed reading it.

[PENS FOR PEACE /TJ CALI..]

Thanks!
It was my first poem and I'm stil learning!
Thanks for all the great advice and the great inspiration you poets give me on such a daily basis!
Where would this world be with music, story and poetry?
It would certainly be a soul less one, that I would not care to live in!

[Belator Books]

Tis a fair poem this; I am glad you managed to rhyme a bit without making it sound 'cheesy'. A few semi-colons in lieu of a comma here and there would do nicely. Keep up the pen. Cheers...

[WyllVengeance]

Wow, that's really good!
I love the wording and how well you convey the message across.