Here's Your F*****g Song

 When you turn around everyone's gone

I hope you have no regrets
You fucked up, no turning back
You made this bed now lay in it
I really hope he was worth it
Even though I know he's not
Congrats, you have no one left
And I gave all that I've got
 
It's when two years becomes way too much
And just a week is not enough
To glue together what you broke up
I’m not okay, I’m so fucked up
 
How soon does "I love you" become " I love you not"
And when does it go to waste?
It seems like a whole lot can change
In just 3 f*****g days
There's irony in everything
It kills but it's the truth
When your friends aren't friends anymore
You’ll have s**t to turn to
 
It's when two years becomes way too much
And just a week is not enough
To glue together what you broke up
I’m not okay, You’re so fucked up
 
This is it. Do or Die.
I've done enough, so it dies tonight

Reviews

[Charles]

Again, some phrase repitition used to advantage. The theme is a bit common, but that might be true of ll poetry. The vulgarity is not upsetting (given the tone you're trying to set), but I don't think it helps that much either. I like the repitition of the 2nd and 4th stanza with just the subject (I versus you) changed.

[PaperHearts]

A feeling I could certainly relate to! You expressed the emotions really well, with strong and punchy one-liners. I liked the underlying story of this poem, and thought that you set the scene well, creating emotionally intense imagery. The second stanza was definitely my favourite section of this piece, and in a way, I would have preffered it if you had written the other stanzas as a similar length to that of the second one. Because in a way, I feel that the length of, for example, the first stanza, works as a disadvantage to the overall feel of the poem which is evidently meant to be strong and angry.
However, this is certainly an honest, and emotionally powerful write! Well done,
~PaperHearts

[Samantha Guerin]

Very powerful indeed. The wording here which some may call "vulgar" or "harsh" is put to good use and really sets the tone. It shows true emotion, and the meaning is so strong that one cannot focus on grammatical imperfection. Nicely done!