Why me?

A philosophic overview of pain and suffering

I once heard it said we exist in one of three states: we are either preparing to go into a period of trial, we are in the middle of a trial, or we have just come through a trial. There are never satisfactory explanations for human suffering, be it great or small. Even the smallest of difficulties can sometimes seem unbearable to the individual who has been thrust into the crucible that is suffering. It would seem with any degree of hardship weighing on a person, one’s ability to cope is relative to how much strife they are dealing with at that particular moment.

 

 

If it were possible to have perfect balance with problems, we might say that as troubles were to come and go, they would be well spaced apart, allowing adequate time for adjustment, recovery and correction. Unfortunately, we cannot be the masters of our own chastening. While we may occasionally have the luxury of coping with disasters one at a time, more times than not, we have multiple issues swirling about in our lives. The chaos during these periods is a major component of our ability (or inability) to cope and recover from trials.

 

Feelings of overwhelm and doom often surround an individual who is struggling through a myriad of ordeals. There can be a sense of reaching a “point of no return” where he or she may feel complete apathy towards the problem and resists any further urge to deal head on with the issue. Often, someone is handling a number of smaller difficulties at one time and then, almost profanely, they are dealt a catastrophic blow, one such as the death of a family member. The resultant emotions of loss and mourning are so overwhelming the many other things become numbness and collectively, the person teeters on the edge of deep depression.

 

Why must we deal with such pain? Why are we so different from other life forms on this planet? Although there is some evidence that an animal can grieve over the loss of a mate, there is very little proof that this mourning period is something they must endure for months or years on end. Would it be too bold to suggest we have souls? But surely to make that suggestion would beg additional questions - tough questions, the ones which may not be politically correct.  For example, would it suggest intelligent design for one life form to exist which is cognitive of pain and suffering and all other life forms to be excluded from such? And if not created by a master designer, then this ability to reason, realize, and categorize suffering must have 'evolved' from a lower, or more correctly stated, a lesser need. But what need? And, if we were to follow Darwin’s reasoning that we change to survive and not that we survive because of change, then the larger question is for what purpose has our ability to suffer pain evolved at all?

 

I would make the argument that we indeed do have a soul. A soul that can be defined by love and hate, pain and suffering, happiness and sadness, and it is a soul that exists for the benefit of the human to which it belongs. This incredible feature has been earmarked by the creator for a being that has it exclusively from other created life. It is only logical to conclude that if there were no purpose or function for pain and anguish in a lower life form and that they play no role in the 'survivability' of the species, then it must have been purposely placed there by an intelligent designer.

 

But why must we suffer when confronted with trials? Why must there be pain and hurt in the shaping of our psyche? Must we feel pain and if so, what purpose might it serve?

I began to answer these questions by the recollection of a most unlikely memory. It is this story within a story that I would like to share with you.

 

When I was a teenager, my Grandfather and I were involved in competitive pistol shooting. We were both quite accomplished and in obtaining that skill, we had fired ten’s of thousands of rounds of ammunition. We were shooting so much together in fact, that it became a matter of necessity for us to begin handloading our ammunition to save money. The added benefit became an ability to control the quality of the load and thereby increase the accuracy of the shot. As we progressed in our knowledge of loading our pistol rounds, we discovered we could begin to experiment with the load performance by using various bullet shapes which we started casting ourselves. Each bullet was molded from lead and in the beginning, being extreme neophytes, were completely unaware of how purity levels effect a bullet’s strength. Early on, many of our bullets would deform in flight from an inability to cope with the tremendous pressures associated with the discharge of a firearm. Still we continued and on Saturday mornings my Grandfather and I could be found squatting over a small smelting pot on his garage floor, almost entranced, watching various forms of lead, mostly wheel weights scavenged from local tire stores, slowly melt into a brilliant silver liquid.

 

To the untrained eye, the lead looked perfect. It was, however, full of impurity. Impurities in the lead, if not removed, caused the bullets to be weak and depending upon the amount of impurities in them, could cause them to either shatter or become deformed in flight after discharging the cartridge. We found ourselves continually involved in the process melting and re-melting of our lead, in order to obtain the highest quality possible. Once the lead had fully melted, we would add a flux to the mix. Immediately impurity in the lead would rise to the surface where we were quick to skim it off with a small ladle. People were amazed when they visited our little 'factory'. It was quite an operation. We had large containers of lead ingots shelved on one wall. Each container labeled with the details of the lead it held. The hardness, number of times it had been smelted, and other data was all contained in the details. We became so skilled in this art, soon we were casting bullets for specific events we were intending to compete; selecting a lead with a specific hardness or quality that we deemed might give us some competitive edge.

 

This entire process of bullet making was just a memory to me. It never had any significance nor had entered my thoughts for any reason other than to fondly remember my Grandfather.

And then, I read a scripture in the Bible. Malachi 3:3:

 

“And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the Lord an offering in righteousness”

 

I had an epiphany. I began to think of how we had continually reheated our lead in order to achieve purity. Subjecting it to extreme heat and melting it, refining it and each time skimming away the impurity. I remembered how we had inventoried many different grades of lead, some harder and some softer, but each with a specific application. Never the less, all the lead had to be purified, regardless of its final use. It all had to be subjected to the refiner’s fire in order gain structural integrity.

 

And so it is with the human soul. Through our trials and pain the metal of our existence is tempered. The master refiner sits as we are made pure and refined by trials. We are being made ready for future work. Further, it could be said because of our experiences, others might benefit from how we have recovered from them. We who have persevered become an encouragement to those who have found themselves in that crucible of suffering.

 

As I further contemplated this, I began to see not only are our trials and troubles part of the refining process, but also our good and pleasant times. These periods of good and bad are all shapers of the soul. We tend to focus on the trials more because that 'fire' burns us with the memory of pain much deeper than the memories of fair times.

 

In conclusion, the human species will endure pain. The trials will come and although difficult at the time, it is where our existence is forged. It is the crucible where our strength is ground out. Our weakness is made perfect through them. It is the why in 'Why me?'.
 

Reviews

[Jeanne Broome]

This really spoke to my heart. In my life I have endured one trial after another..and I have gotten to the point that I look forward to fighting through to the end. I have learned also of the strength accomplished through the trials. I don't necessarily like going through trials...but it has forged who I am....and has made me see the why in the Why Me? Very good writing Todd. I love when you talk of your experiences and family.

[Mysteral - Night Prowle..]

Very interesting piece of philosophy. Makes me want to get into a debate with you, but I won't. I do agree with your main points, but I keep coming back to wondering why some people seem to suffer so much more than others. I consider myself one of the luckier ones. Perhaps we do have to balance out karma from earlier lives.

[Emily Elizabeth]

This is fantastic, well researched and very true. We are doomed to follow the same miserable pattern throughout entire lives- or so it seems. But there are things that make life easier, there has to be, otherwise we'd all end up killing ourselves. Things like love and friendship. And every human being has the ability to do good and bad. We might all make ourselves miserable but at the same time, we all enrich each other's lives in some way. And from what I've experienced, the joy we give each other is ten times stronger than the misery and sadness. You're a great man, and you understand so much, as well as an absolutely stunning writer. Please don't be too put down by the faults of humanity. There's very little we can do to stop them, because its up to us as a whole, and hardly anyone wants to cooperate.

[David Lewis Paget]

That's a great article, Todd. We're all together in the search for some form of truth behind our existence, and your thoughful parable has added another iron in the fire for the believers. Personally, I have never gone along with Darwin, or indeed any theory which cuts out the possibility of a creator, an intelligent designer if you will.
I see that the scientific establishment has also, recently, come over to our side in some respects. As against the idea of creatures developing slowly over time, considerable time in the case of 'Origin of the Species', scientists have now decided that in the case of the eye, there had to be an intelligent designer, because no species could have survived for long enough if the eye had to develop over time. This one organ had to be spontaneously generated, or intelliently designed and immediately available, if any species was to survive.
Great write.
David.

[CourtNny]

Wow. This left me speechless. It's like you took everything that I ponder in my own mind and found the words to write it out for me.

[Angel's Lady]

a "point of no return"....hmmm. This leads one to much internal deliberation. Most thought-provoking indeed.

[Angela]

Ahhh!! I can see your meaning quite clearly. I have suffered many trials and through grace have conquered each one to become a stronger, more defined individual. For were it not for the pain, suffering and ultimate sacrifice of Christ, then we might not have had the chance to "BE" at all. I think of this every time I feel like I just can't take another thing going wrong. What Jesus endured for my sins makes anything that I might go through pale in comparison. This keeps me grounded and gives me the strength to go on. Thank you for your message. I too now know the "Why".

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

I agree with you. Through our lives we are destined to face hardships, but it only serves the purpose of letting us grow and become better people. I like how you used the story of your grandfather and the melting of lead to purify it. It is something i would never have thought to use to tie into that point. Good Job.

[☮]

This holds so true. I can relate and I have come to the same conclusion that you have. We must endure the fire before it is extinguished. One of the best works I've come across.

Thank you for this.

[Angelic Darkness]

This story is wonderful, and I am so glad you sent me the
read request. I've also had the same questions in my own spirtual
journey. You made real define points, and with the story of your
grandfather, it helped with the understanding, and it was so touching.
I believe it helps so much that we all come to certain understandings and
conclusions. AD