Falling Away

The battle between sin and rightousness as it exists in the life of a Christian.....

 

How high my prayers at one time ascended-
From His leading all of my actions depended,
The ear of my Lord I knew they did snare;
No worry too large for my God in prayer.

 

Day by day, my troubles never languished;
The tempter calls? My soul never vanquished!
Serene was my path �" my walk in the light!
Forgiven by grace, I sought to do right.

 

Friend, a place for Satan, don't soon prepare -
In the smallest sin, the soul becomes his lair;
Hear my counsel - thus you may remain strong,
Read His word, pray daily, for his will long.

 

When you’re tempted and your will slips away,
Remember Christ’s death on that wrongful day;
Then whisper a prayer in humility;
Great God will stay your soul’s ability.

 

This I had learned though I had failed to heed;
The Devil rode in, I mounted his steed;
Disobedient and yielding to pleasure;
My sinful soul giving up God’s treasure.

 

Now I must choose which path I will travel;
Persist in sin, till falls the Master’s gavel?
Or repent and seek out his good grace?
The soul wearies - yearning an end to the race.

 

Choosing repentance, his will I must not fain;
Replacing my seed in the good soil again.
My former sins I never to return;
Lest my soul be as chaff - ready to burn.

 

Restore my soul my mighty God and king!
Forever in me reign �" in praises I sing!
Forgive me, I pray, of worldly pursuits -
Expose all sin and tear it from the roots.

 

Thank you God for your great mercy and love;
Thank you for the Spirit that came as a dove;
Thank you Lord for the pardon of my sins;
Through your loving Son we have made amends.

 

C.T. Bailey

 

Reviews

[Reality]

hm, I love how I see my own spiritual life in this

"When temptations arise and your will, it slips away,
Remember how God gave his Son on that wrongful day;
Then whisper a quiet prayer in solemn humility;
And our mighty God will brace your soul's ability.

The lessons were learned but then I failed to heed;
When the Devil rode through my soul mounted up his steed;
Years of obedience forgotten, for a moment of pleasure;
My sinful soul surrendered, giving up God's treasure."

God is amazing, your words have well captured our knowledge of his amazing love, great write :)

april

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Todd, you have spoken right from my heart. Soooo good.

Congrats on this great winning poem.

[Roger Ferguson II]

good work!

[Dawn]

This poem is very beautiful. It speaks out to all of us and flows with a certainty that surely has come from the heart. Great Work. keep inspiring us!

[Emily Rose]

I love the rewrite! The rhythm is better and the imagery is bolstered by the lines you changed, too! I really like the line "Lest my soul be as chaff and made ready to burn" but it's the line that jumped out at me as the most arhythmical in the piece, although I actually kind of like that - the jarring, atypical rhythm makes the reader pay attention more closely to that line, which adds to its warning quality.

I love the last stanza that you added, too - it's simple and it wraps up the poem quite well. Bravo!

[Emily Rose]

Hurrah for Christian poetry! Your style really works for this poem and the story that you tell is lovely. There are, however, a few places where the rhythm deviates from your preset pattern, and the poem would be more tight and easier to read. Instead of picking out specific lines like I normally do, let's try something different:

How high my prayers at one time ascended - (dash added)
The answer to troubles my actions depended, (added a comma. Also, this line seems as little awkward because of the extra syllable and because of the inverted sentence structure. Perhaps something more like: "On answers to my grief my acts depended" or something similar)
The ear of my Lord I knew they did snare: (Deleted "for" and added a colon Also, "snare" is an odd word choice, since it implies unwillingness. I can understand why you chose it, though, because of the rhyme.)
No worry too large to take to God in prayer.

Day by day lived I, in trouble never languished; (deleted "and")
When the tempter called, my soul, it wasn't vanquished. (added "it" and placed a period at the end of the line)
Beautiful was my path � my walk was in the light! (Added an exclaimation point)
Mercifully forgiven, I sought to do the right. (changed "what was" to "the" for the sake of the rhythm - most of my wording changes are for the sake of the rhythm, by the way :-))

My friend, a place for Satan don't prepare - (Switched "the devil" to "Satan" (less syllables that way!) and deleted "you can" to replace it with "don't" and changed the semicolon to a comma)
With just the smallest sins, your soul becomes his lair; (switched "you" to "your" and added a comma after "sins")
Listen now, I'll council you on how to remain strong: (changed "to me" to "now, "tell you" to "council," added "on" and changed the semicolon to a colon)
Read His word, and pray daily for His will, long. (Capitalized the "his"s (this is especially important in this line because you were just taking about the Devil, so there could be some confusion there), deleted "and" and added a comma after "will.")

When temptations arise and your will, it slips away, (added a comma, changed "slipping" to "your will, it slips," and put a comma at the end)
Remember how God gave his Son on that darkened day. (Added "darkened" (any two-syllable adjective will work here; I just picked one, but you need two more syllables in the line to make it even) and placed a comma at the end of the line)
Then whisper quiet a prayer in great humility (deleted "you should" and played with the adjectives a little more (I added "quiet" and "great" but you just need a two-syllable one and a one-syllable one)
And our mighty God will hear brace and your soul's ability. ("strengthen" didn't fit the meter so I changed it to "will hear and brace" it's not a very good edit, but that's the syllable pattern you should follow)

But, despite these lessons learned, I did not take heed: (ugh I feel so bad for playing with your words like this. I'm sorry about that. I added "but, despite" to the beginning, deleted the first "I" and changed the semicolon to a comma. Note that this line was harder to fix than the others, so you'll want to make corrections of your own)
When the Devil rode through my soul I mounted up his steed. (I added a "my soul" to even out the syllable count - you really just a two syllables' worth of words there)
Years of obedience gave for a moment of pleasure; (this line is a little weird too, so I just changed "traded" to "gave")
I surrendered down my soul and gave up my God's treasure. (Added "down" (you just need a one-syllable adjective) and added "my")

Now I must choose which of the paths to travel; (changed "I will" to "to")
Shall I continue thus in sin and fear the Master's gavel? (added "thus" and changed "await" to "fear" (again, you just need a one-syllable verb)
Or shall I repent once more and seek out His good grace? (Added "out" after "seek)
My soul grows very weary now; I want an end to the race. (added "very" (two syllable word" before "weary," changed the "and" to a semicolon (how ironic!), and changed "wants" to "I want"

If I choose to repent, His will I must not fain; ("changed "never" to "not")
The seed that was sown before must find good soil again. (Added "before" and changed the semicolon to a period)
I cannot let all of the former sins to soft return, (this line was hard and I'm not happy with my suggestion, especially the insertion of "soft" before "return" but you need something to even out the line there)
Lest my soul be as chaff and made ready to burn. (This line works all by itself!)

Restore my soul, oh, my mighty God and king
And Forever in me reign � my soul in praises sings! (Added an "and" to the beginning and changed the semicolon to an exclaimation point)
Forgive me now, I pray, of all worldly pursuits; (added two commas, one before "I" and one after "pray" and deleted the "my")
Uncover all my sins and tear them from their roots. (Great ending!)

Sorry to have been so nitpicky. I don't think I even evened it out as a whole, but I think I put it into a general scheme. Message me sometime and I'll give you a crash-course in poetic meter :-) As usual, my critiques are meant to help you build your poetic arsenal - I honestly really enjoyed reading it and it was a lot of fun to edit, although I think I may have gone a little overboard. Forgive me for that :-)





Thank you God for your great mercy and your love;
Thank you for your Spirit that came as a dove;
Above all I thank you for the forgiveness of my sins;
Through you loving Son whom we have now made amends.

[Angelic Darkness]

This is a deeply spiritual poem, one that many of us have fought
against...which path to take, and coming to terms with who we really
are when we are bare exposed. I think it all comes down to us as
individuals and how are really speaking to us. AD

[Promiss]

Awesome message of grace and murcy in this writing. It is a great reminder of what God does when we come to him with repentance in our hearts. Thank you so much for the reminder.

[DiamondNRough AKA Patty..]

ahh...Peaceful indeed.